It’s my understanding that it’s passed when there’s an outbreak present. So as long as there’s no sores on your lips I think they should be ok? I got oral herpes from sharing a drink with my grandma when I was 12 and regularly get outbreaks. But it seems that when people are exposed later in life they don’t experience outbreaks ever.

The only way to spread it is touching a active sore or a shedding sore

I have the same fears. I've never had an outbreak before (nor had my partner) but clearly one of us passed it to the other as we both had negative tests previously. I'd rather be safe and just not allow my kiddo to share food or drinks in our home anymore or kiss on the mouth either