CatCollector

26d

Hey everybody, I'm just going on a rant. So basically I think I'm codependent bc every relationship or friendship I've ever had I completely rely on them for emotional support and advice. I think it's time I start relying on myself but it's been hard and I'm struggling like hell. I think I've gaslit myself into believing I'm okay when I'm really not. I absolutely refuse to take meds to make me feel better bc yes it balances out the chemicals in my brain, but how I personally feel about myself while on meds is terrible. I never confide in my support group, which I know I should. I've been disassociating hard. I can't remember conversations I had 5 seconds ago. I can't remember promises I make to people. I just want to bail on everyone and everything. Plus ever since I got sick my fainting has been worse.

Dissociation

Depression

Syncope

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Memory Loss

View all
  • Tomato

    21d

    Hey there, it sounds like you refuse to get any help even though you admit it may be helpful to you. What about giving it a chance? If it doesn’t work well, you can always stop taking your meds or stop going to your sessions.

    • CatCollector

      20d

      I've taken meds before, it just makes me feel self loathing tbh

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