Hi, I think you don't hate your friends but are a little jealous of them for the situation they are in, and rightfully so. I remember during times when I was depressed, I hated anyone who was happier than I was (which was actually almost everyone). I suggest you go to therapy, you don't have to deal with this alone. Try Even going to support groups, you might be able to find friends there who are experiencing the same things you are experiencing and it will be easier for you to empathize with them.