This is probably a bit much for my first post but I'm in a very complicated situation. I've been with my boyfriend for about 9 months now, we live together and have been living together for about 7 months. I'm still not used to his blow ups, almost everyday when something goes wrong he yells and tends to take it out on me or anything around him. He's gotten better control of it but when it happens I immediately shut down emotionally and feel numb as if there's nothing I can do, and everytime I've tried helping he's always told me to just let him be angry or he'd blow up even more on me without meaning to. I don't think I'm happy with him most of the time but there are good times that make me happy, just not nearly as often as they used to be. I'm not sure what to do, I believe we will be living together for at least another 6 months and I don't want things to be awkward but he has told me before that It's ok if I end up not being with him and it's ok if we break up and stay friends. I'm just mentally exhausted because it's the same thing everyday. I desperately need advice, and thank you in advance to anyone who takes the time to try and help me out! ❤️


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  • bugger


    It's never good when you feel stuck. I think you should be honest with him about how you feel with this situation. But make sure you have a backup plan in case something gets out of hand, be sure to let someone you trust know what's going on ahead of time.

  • GoodGrrlKitten


    ✋Hello, Friend. I want to say that immediately upon reading this, I see the situation as leaning to be more of a him problem, than a you problem. We all have our baggage, that's normal, but it's how we choose to manage it that matters. It is not okay and it is not healthy/safe for you to be the brunt of his mood swings. He needs to talk to someone about this, if he's not already. Perhaps some mood stabilising meds. Please know that none of this is intended as an attack - I'm a huge proponent and user of therapy and meds, so it's only meant to help. What sticks out most to me is that you said, I don't think I'm happy with him most of the time. Years ago I was in a pretty volatile relationship, and a close friend said to me that relationships should be mostly happy times sprinkled with some difficulties - not mostly difficult times sprinkled with happiness. I've never forgotten that, and it's helped me gain perspective over the years. At this point, Friend, you need to take care of your personal well being. You should always feel safe in your relationship. Your boyfriend, likewise, needs to take care of himself and get himself to a better place so that the two of you can progress within your relationship together. You are not his proverbial punching bag. If anything, you can always take some time apart, regroup, and then come back together. Wishing you well ❤️

  • LadyTauriel


    His behavior is extremely abusive. I've been there. I would get out whenever you're able.

  • Natdacat


    My husband is like that. He's no on Zoloft. It has helped but not enough if you ask me! I feel stuck alot as well. I feel like he resents me because of all my problems! He knows how to make me feel like trash. We will be together almost 10 years but I feel stuck. He pays for everything cause I can't work and we have kids.

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