Dealing with Anxiety at Work: My Boss Wants Me to Learn Something That Makes Me Anxious

It's not wrong for your boss to want you to do a task, but your reservations and aversions should absolutely be acknowledged, understood and worked through with management. I manage a convenience store and of the practice that I don't ask any staff member to do something I won't do, and if a member of my staff has issues (physically, mentally or emotionally) with something, I want to help them work through it. Part of that would absolutely be actually performing the offending task at hand, as it really does help to desensitize you against it. But unless you work in one of the armed forces, most workplaces don't function on the practice of throwing someone in a pool to teach them to swim. As humans, we naturally strive to better ourselves. Doing whatever it is may not be a big deal in the grand scheme of your job description, but it would serve as a huge personal triumph. Do it for you, not them. You got this, darlin!

I understand it's hard for some people to grasp the thought of mental illnesses.

It's kind if a...unique situation I guess. The thing she wants me to do isn't really all that different than what I normally do, it just has an added complexity that triggers my anxiety which then causes my emotions to be all out of wack. So I have a real hard time judging my actual opinion of it. Because I'm worried my opinion of her influences my reaction and I want to make my descision based on logic because I can't always trust my emotions. I'm also really attached to the people I usually work with in that other area and feel like that might be clouding my judgement. I also have no desire to leave my job, I love it and there's litteraly nothing else like it in the country. I did somewhat stand up to my boss about it, telling her that I wouldn't do it every shift because I can't handle it mentally. Just keeping doing it until I get used to it doesn't quite work the way that she seems to think it does, because she has no concept or understanding of my anxiety despite me telling her. For instance, after I told her I'd need to shadow someone and work up to it, she told my coworker to "show me how simple it is". And she didn't say it in like...a mean way I guess. But it pissed me off because it deffinately felt like she thought I was being ridiculous.

I understand how you feel like you have to learn this new thing because it's your boss and everyone grows up learning to respect bosses and colleagues but you also have to remember sometimes that your self respect should be higher. If it's making you very uncomfortable I would trying talking to your boss about it. If that doesn't work you could go to someone above them (if there is anyone). If your still not being respected and it's affecting your mental health I would start looking for a new job. Don't feel pressured into something if it's going to hurt you mentally or physically at work, there are always other jobs.