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CandyFrog

662d

Trigger Warning: SA When I was 13, I was in an emotionally, sexually abusive relationship with a guy a year older than me. It took me years to realize what happened to me was abusive. I was with him for almost a year but broke it off finally after feeling the courage to do so. Around age 18 or so, the trauma started hitting me again which threw others off guard because I never showed any signs of PTSD after I broke up with him. Again, I didn't know what happened to me was abuse, my abuser always told me that "Every guy likes girls who do ____ and ____ with the guy." So I thought it was normal. But all I get told nowadays is "He's out of your life now, so you shouldn't feel this traumatized." or "This happened 8 years ago, you need to let it go." and it's making me think it's my fault for "dwelling" on it or feeling these feelings I didn't get to feel at the time it happened. To anyone who has had something similar to this happen to you, have you let it go yet? or is it something you're still dealing with? 💗

    • Y0g1

      661d

      My SA assault happened probably close to 10 years ago at this point and I still have yet to out loud tell anyone what happened because I feel like it wasn’t SA because “nothing actually happened”. This is the lie my brain has been telling itself for 10 years. He may be in your past but the trauma is still in your life and very real. You can’t just simply move on from something that has traumatized you, and quite frankly people telling you that you should be over it by now are not understanding of what you went through and how it impacts your everyday life. You are not dwelling- your body was in survival mode or convinced it was normal because that’s what he told you and that’s what the patriarchy has allowed the standard to be. I would suggest therapy, but to find a therapist you trust and feel seen and heard by before you dive into the events that took place. I still deal with it, but it comes as ptsd in weird ways now, but I am working on being able to talk about it and to recognize and legitimize my experience and the pain it caused me. Give yourself room to grieve that part of you that you lost or the innocence you lost because someone made you feel that you had to do something because it was “culturally the norm”. Grieving these things is important- recognizing there are things you have lost because of this whether you know it or not. There is no right or wrong way to feel, and that just because it happened X years ago you should be over it now. Sending you so much love and support

    • Saffron

      662d

      It's definitely something I am still dealing with from multiple relationships and situations similar. My psychiatrist has referred me to trauma specific therapy which is usually a few months long and you see them every week to work thru trauma... it's something I am going to be starting soon so I am hoping it'll help me and that maybe it's an option for you some day as well ❤️

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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