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Struggling with Motivation to Shower

KittyKatKorner

442d

I was discussing my motivation issues with my councilor, specifically related to showering, today. she repeatedly suggested that I tell myself that I can have XYZ thing after I shower, but I keep saying that I can have it any time, and I don't have the self control to not have it whenever I want. she says this requires a change in my attitude for it to work. i don't understand this. it almost takes more effort to restrain myself from having the thing than to do what I was supposed to do in the first place. How is that supposed to feel rewarding?

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Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

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    • serendi

      441d

      One thing that I’ve found that helps me infinitely more than trying to reward myself for doing a hard task is something that Jesse from ADHD Focus shared. Not sure if I’m allowed to share links, so just look up “adhd Jesse don’t eat the frog first”. It’s been SO helpful for me both with how my autism and ADHD work.

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    • serendi

      441d

      One thing that I’ve found that helps me infinitely more than trying to reward myself for doing a hard task is something that Jesse from ADHD Focus shared. Not sure if I’m allowed to share links, so just look up “adhd Jesse don’t eat the frog first”. It’s been SO helpful for me both with how my autism and ADHD work.

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    • Igglepiggle

      441d

      Classic adhd problem! Everyone always suggests that and it never works!! I’ve found you have to find a way to make the task itself rewarding that’s the only way I can do things, let’s take showering for example: for me I’d find a playlist I love and put that on in the bathroom where I can I hear it loudly, if you’re able to get a waterproof Bluetooth speaker to take into the shower with you that would be great otherwise just play loudly in the bathroom, and I’d find a soap I really like the smell or look of to try and get excited about, pick out the most luxurious towel you have and warm it up so it can be cosy to dry with after, do a deep conditioning on your hair every time as that’s good for your hair and feels like a treat to do like you’re at a salon, give yourself a nice scalp massage, I also tend to act out things when I have a shower or bath just conversations to myself I use it as my me time to have privacy and that kind of tricks it to being a treat instead of a chore, I’m a big sensory seeker a lot of the time so to get the water to the right temperature and even have a lolly or something to eat in the shower which feels silly but it’s just trying to prevent boredom, and final tip is it’s okay to not shower sometimes, if it’s a hard day and you just can’t find the motivation that’s okay don’t beat yourself up over it it’s not hard to be clean without showering; wet wipes, dry shampoo, body spray and some clean clothes will do the trick you can just wait for a day when it’s less of a taxing task and that’s okay as long as you feel okay that’s all that matters showering is a self care thing if it’s gonna tire you out you don’t need to. Alternatively if you have someone who could help you that can be good, I tend to take baths more than shower as showers are difficult sensory wise for me and if I’m struggling I’ll ask my mum to run it for me get my towels ready and then she’ll come walk me to the bathroom if I’m feeling a bit paralysed and that’s really helpful :) hope this helps and please explain all this to your therapist too so they can understand as it sounds they’re not quite knowledgeable on neurodiversity

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      • KittyKatKorner

        441d

        @Igglepiggle problem is, I typically shower twice a week, and I don't do it well enough. It makes my family want to vomit, and so mom is always pestering me about it, which stresses me out.

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        • Igglepiggle

          441d

          @KittyKatKorner honestly showering twice a week is more than enough usually so perhaps you have a hormone problem? It’s common and worth looking into but otherwise could be normal for you or a result of diet lifestyle etc so don’t panic but for me and I know I am fortunate but I only shower once a week and that’s always been my normal and I’ve never had any issue with odour or anything at all so that’s the only reason I say that, I’d invest in wet wipes and a good deodorant, I use men’s deodorant now as it’s way more effective and woman’s irritates my skin, deodorant is important and a body spray or perfume makes a world of difference too just wet wipe your pits and that and you shouldn’t have any issue otherwise I would look into it unless you’re doing a high level of exercise every day? As people don’t need to shower every day usually although some swear by it, I’ve been very ill recently and haven’t washed at all in a whole month I feel quite gross don’t get me wrong lol I do need it I wish I could but whenever I go out I’ve used a wet wipe and deodorant a little dry shampoo and I actually get compliments on how I smell so I promise it can work, also I know it’s personal preference on shaving but I think it does make a huge difference for smell if you can shave your pits when you do shower, and try to make sure you have clean clothes as if you wear the same clothing then it does get smelly and doesn’t come out easily so you could shower and put on yesterday’s clothes and you might as well have not bothered. If you do think there could be a hormone imbalance at play definitely talk to your gp it’s so common and sometimes easily fixed! 🤍

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    • alldeadalldead

      441d

      i have sort of the opposite issue, where i won't leave my house unless I've showered or whatever, but something that i do that may help is i write myself a checklist, but i don't order it. i just see everything that needs to get done that day and as long as it all gets done by the time i go to sleep, i don't think it should matter what order you do it in

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    • busy_bee

      442d

      Maybe you could flip it around? Like go get the reward then you may as well do the thing. Or make someone else be in charge of the reward?

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      • KittyKatKorner

        441d

        @busy_bee making someone else in charge of the reward is a great idea! Let's say the reward is that I get to work on writing my fanfiction for an hour if I shower first. I do that on my phone. How would you suggest I make someone else in charge of that in particular?

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        • Igglepiggle

          441d

          @KittyKatKorner you could put a password on the app that you use for that there’s ways to do that, which only the other person knows so you have to get them to unlock it for you?

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☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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