SleepyGhost

293d

TW: Self-harm

TLDR: How do you manage strong urges to hurt yourself? I want to stop one day.


I found out 2 years ago that I was hurting myself in ways that I didn't consider self harm. upon realising that I was shaken up but I couldn't stop doing the things I was doing, and I still haven't. I rip my hair out, bite my nails till they bleed and sometimes hit myself. I chalked up the hair pulling and nail biting to my anxiety but the hitting is what makes me feel the worst. I can't pin that on anything else. I don't do that one as often because I know it's wrong but sometimes I do and then I feel horrible. it doesn't leave bruises or anything, just welts for a bit. along with these things I also have moments where I want to do worse things to myself. How do you manage these feelings of wanting so badly to hurt yourself?

Generalized pain

Depression

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  • Ez

    293d

    I keep fidget toys around and/or on my person, and those help me a lot. I wear spinning rings and I have some chewable necklaces and other stuff like that, and it makes it easier to withstand the urges.

  • Birb

    293d

    I had a similar experience of finding out some of the habits I have that either help with/are a result of anxiety are considered self harm Fidget toys are definitely something I am also looking into, some make shift ones have helped :) One thing that's been working for me is having specific podcasts that I'll listen to that help give me something else to focus on while the urges are really strong. Pairing this with something like a fidget toy or even ripping or folding paper had helped with both urges and intrusive thoughts

  • jay_

    293d

    I used this app called Calm Harm when things were really bad for me

  • lilly109876

    293d

    Try doing things that have the same type of feelings but are more positive. For instance for biting nails, you can carry gum and chew on that or find something else you can bite. You could try carrying markers around and drawing on yourself whenever you feel like you want to harm yourself. Try taking the energy and doing something else that has the same feeling

  • Rach_Williams

    293d

    Hi! I could probably help you find alternatives

  • Rach_Williams

    293d

    💕💕💕💕💕💕

  • Chogini

    293d

    Always keep a marker on you to draw on yourself, get a rip shirt or paper and write what’s wrong. Then burn it or tear it apart. Get something with beads and stuff so you can fidget with it. I hope this helps

  • Maddawg

    292d

    Keep yourself busy, or like smoking, keep doing it, but choose things that aren’t as harmful. Itching when you aren’t itchy for example. If you still have interest in some aspect of your life (a hobby, a career), dive into it more. Also of course if you aren’t on meds, you might want to get on that. You need to do excercises or have reminders that your worthy, not necessarily “learn to love yourself”. The knowledge that you don’t deserve to hurt yourself, or hurt period, is what keeps me from doing it. Look at aspects of your life that reflect that you are worth something at the very least.

  • lilangelic

    292d

    I distract myself to the point I have no thoughts. Either writing,drawing,hitting a punching bag,my favorite (screaming)

  • justabun

    292d

    Honestly I’ve been choosing to do things that are uncomfortable but not long-term harmful as an alternative and I’m having decent success from it so far. I’ll take a freezing cold shower or eat a spoonful of wasabi or literally sprint down the street until I feel like like I might puke and so far I’m two weeks clean after a relapse that had me harming daily.

  • Kaylaaa

    292d

    Hello! I struggle with this as well and what has helped me is a mixture of things. One of the main things that help is distractions: I'll listen to music or a podcast, put on my favorite TV show or movie, play a game, call a friend or family member, etc. Sometimes when the urge is really strong distractions don't help as much as other times. In that case of a strong urge, I would give in to the feeling but redirect the action. For example, instead of hitting yourself, hit a pillow or your bed matress instead. Instead of pulling your hair pull on a string or rubber band or even a blanket or towel. Another fun thing that I use to redirect is coloring. My self harm is typically cutting so instead I draw on myself with red marker or pen. I also love tearing paper to redirect my aggression and anger. Keep fighting friend! 🙌

  • edith

    292d

    I’ve had a similar experience, I like to try alternatives that maybe use the same action. Ex cutting - drawing on your arm/leg with marker, hitting yourself - maybe go outside and throw something as hard as you can (rocks etc.)

  • Mobius

    291d

    This is so cheesy but I use watercolor. I'm always alone when I have those urges. I don't want to get descriptive, but I use red colors and just go crazy, painting whatever. I don't even paint regularly. After that, I tear up the paper into little tiny shreds.

  • The_Kats_Pajamas

    291d

    Honestly, after dealing with ADHD for most of my life, and then MDD & Insomnia (which began in my twenties), and being diagnosed with PTSD in 2001 (age 29), I have been on one medication or another for more than half of my life. Just before the pandemic hit, I went through my first round of dTMS, which is Direct Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. Three years and three rounds of dTMS later, I can honestly say that all thoughts of and actions of self-harm COMPLETELY went awake by week three of my very first round of dTMS! dTMS has changed my life. No more suicidal ideation, no more self-harm, nor thoughts of self-harm. The only thing that has lingered in cuticle picking and biting, which I am working on via behavioral therapy.

  • Jenni_Star

    291d

    Punch a punching bag or extra firm pillow!!!!! Finding a quality therapist to talk to every week (twice a week in the beginning) in addition to my “natural supports”. I still get overwhelming urges to pull my hair out and hit, pinch, whip and punch myself, but I am usually able to function through without hurting myself. Sometimes I do need to go to my car or shove my face into a thick pillow and scream as hard and long as I can. I eventually and unintentionally caused brain damage to myself and that was quite the eye opener. It never crossed my mind that shaking and smashing my head around could cause such extensive damage years later… My loving and panic struck mother stayed home as often as she could and made sure someone in our intimate and trustworthy circle could sit with me or at least be super close 24/7 for several weeks after one especially unsettling time- I wanted to beat the emotional pain out of my soul, the agonizing and intrusive thoughts out of my head and I wasn’t safe alone. I’m not sure if you are the kind of person that only harms themselves in private or not, but if you are, try to spend time with someone you trust- even if that means praying and going over scriptures about how God created humankind and what He loves about each one of us. Reading and rereading scriptures about God hurting when His people are hurting as well as His intense love for each individual person can be soothing. My heart hurts for you, I hope and pray things will get better quickly and your urges to cause pain melt away as much as possible ❤️‍🩹

  • Jenni_Star

    291d

    Oh and crunching ice can be absolutely fantastic (Not recommended for those with teeth sensitivities or TMJ- it hurts way too bad and sharp to crunch ice with TMJ)

  • kikimae

    291d

    I use to pull my eye browes out

  • urmom69

    291d

    smoke enough weed where it borderline paralyzes you and go to sleep when u feel urges like that

  • drac

    291d

    the most effective things for me have been to either scream (into a pillow if i’m in a place where i can’t be too loud) or take really hot showers. both sort of feel like i’m hurting myself bc they involve a lot of strong feelings but they’re not?? it’s been helping me the past few months at least:)

  • Charizard02

    291d

    I just hurt myself cause there's really no point in fighting it if it makes me feel better in the moment

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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