Struggling with Mental Health

I think I know the feeling. It’s just a constant thing that I deal with. I’ve had 3 attempts. Plus it’s just feeling suicidal for years and years. For the last 10-12 years it’s been difficult day to day. Also for large blocks of time before that. It’s pretty damn remarkable that I’ve made it to 40. I hate admitting this. But talking about it is actually helpful (to me anyway). Plus your brain may just be so used to turning that way that you actually have to reprogram (sounds corny, but true). I’ve not had any (serious) suicidal thoughts in the last couple of months. That’s nothing short of miraculous for me. I just keep trying and keep working with my therapist and doing my homework. I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with this. It’s the worst. If I’m able to help in anyway (I can’t always guarantee that I can), feel free just to vent or whatever. Distractions are key for me. To stop all of that noise in my head, I listen to familiar songs and sing along. Works (sometimes for me anyway). Hoping you can get some relief and peace.

So when my therapist asks me that question, "are you suicidal"? My answer will always be the same every time I'm asked, "I don't know, am I? I wasn't suicidal nor did it cross my mind when I attempted to end my life three times!!

I'm so sorry, I know it sucks I'm right there with you, I just keep reminding me that I need to live me if it's only me and for some strange reason that seems to work when I'm ready to give up again. It's a scary thought that those you live most can just push you to that dark place literally trying to end your own life and truly having no recollection of any of it, I wasn't suicidal when I attempted to end my life, not at all... So to say the least, that's a scary thought because I've been there done that a few times and no idea I'm even doing it, why????

I’m glad your therapist is helping you out. It’s hard to pull yourself out of a rough patch like that. Been there and struggling with it now. 💕

Thanks!

*hugs* I've been there MANY TIMES