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brabbit

569d

has anyone here been married to a narcissist & managed to divorce them?

    • Redvelninja

      548d

      To me, narcs are evil and don't deserve anybody but their family. As a child of divorced parents which one of them is a narc, 0/10 do not recommend. Not worth the mess and the child's mental and emotional well being. I'm going to be extra picky about who I choose to be the father of my children so that way they don't have to heal from their childhood like I had to.

    • packersfan95

      548d

      I have a friend who recently got out! šŸ’• it is possible!

    • Chexpie

      549d

      Yup the second he turned on me and showed his true colors is when I initiated divorce. Which was a few months into our marriage.

      • Heaven197987

        548d

        @Chexpie I wish I did that would of saved me on so much pain

        • Chexpie

          548d

          @Heaven197987 šŸ˜„ are things any better now?

    • purple.unicorn

      550d

      I was married to a narcissist and they made me feel so shitty all the time. But it is possible. My best friend ended up ending her marriage with someone who was a severe narcissist and that ended like 2 years ago, and they are finally legally divorced.

    • mamabear07

      550d

      Some of you need to leave this poor woman alone, (you know who I'm talking to) she's been through enough. This is HER post. Unless you have something nice to say, don't say anything.

    • mamabear07

      550d

      Thankfully no. But my mother has with my father. I'd like to talk to you privately If that's okay?

    • Taintedoctopus28

      550d

      I wish you luck, I stayed with my ex after he cheated on me, spent hundreds on my credit card and lied about it. (I found the receipts in his car) it's not easy, but it's been done. I believe in you :)

    • BritBrat92

      551d

      Yeah currently still fighting for my divorce

      • brabbit

        550d

        @BritBrat92 stay strong! ā¤ļø

    • katitomato

      551d

      Not legally married, but dated for 3 years and lived together the whole time. The only way I got out was when he cheated and left me for the girl. I even wanted to stay after he cheated - thatā€™s how manipulated I was! The fact that you are looking to leave is a good sign that youā€™ve broken though the manipulation and gaslighting at least somewhat. I donā€™t know what steps you take to leave a narcissist, but I do know what itā€™s like to be with one and be absolutely miserable. I wish you all of the best luck in your divorce.

      • Neuco

        551d

        @katitomato I was the same way. They cheated on me twice. Treated me awfully. It took until they left me for it to finally stick. It's awfully how good they are at manipulating.šŸ˜„

    • t4t

      554d

      Hey Iā€™m not saying people with NPD canā€™t be abusive / toxic but so can anyone. Narcissists are people with a disability that suffer for it just like you and everyone else on this app, so letā€™s be a little more intentional with our language. Thanks.

      • Neuco

        552d

        @t4t You're absolutely right that anyone can be abusive or toxic. But it is part of the diagnostic criteria for NPD and ASPD, which has kind of been proven by the only person in this conversation with NPD- AriJuda. Abuse from a narcissist is very different from other abuse. They act and manipulate different. This creates a unique experience for their victims/survivors. Which is what this question was supposed to be for.

        • brabbit

          552d

          @Neuco you are amazing. That is all.

    • Maybe5

      555d

      Yea. Unfortunately it is all about them. Go back to who you were and what you loved without them. Donā€™t contact. Itā€™s a sad and long and painful time. Itā€™s hard to when they find someone else quicker. Itā€™s only because they need to fulfill theyā€™re needs. You are worth someone who will love you

      • Maybe5

        555d

        @Maybe5 Iā€™m really happy youā€™re starting this better life for yourself and hope you find the beauty in your own content and compassion

        • brabbit

          552d

          @Maybe5 thank you so much for your kind & encouraging words. He went silent as soon as the divorce was finalized even though he owes me money (court ordered of course) and he has my dog.. I have a feeling I'll never hear from him or see my pup again. šŸ„²

    • AthenaAsh

      556d

      Not married to one but was engaged to one. I still struggle every day with a lot of the damage they left in their wake. He tried to trap me by getting me pregnant and it backfired in his face horribly. When he realized he was losing me he started in with the abuse. He was horrible and manipulative and pathetic. Iā€™m so sorry youā€™re going through this.

    • Namaste_home

      556d

      OMG HOW CREEPY!!! Iā€™m literally excusing my Narc from my life as we speak!!!! BEGONE TRIGGER!!! Hellooooooo freeeedommmmmm šŸ’ŖšŸ¼šŸ˜ŽšŸ¤ŒšŸ¼

    • Creator

      556d

      I lived with a narcissist, which was my dad. I practically ran away to live with my boyfriend to get away from my father. He was always making himself look like the good guy in the situation when he was fighting with my boyfriend's family and was trying to convince me my boyfriend was a terrible person and a stalker. This was all so daddy could keep his little girl cooped up and never leave him ever. I figured out he was lying when my boyfriend's family showed the whole story and even a voice recording of my dad threatening them. That was the night I decided to not return home.

      • brabbit

        556d

        @Creator oh my. I'm so so sorry your dad turned out to be that kind of person. You don't deserve that at all! I hope you are doing well since you left ā¤ļø

        • Creator

          555d

          @brabbit I'm doing alot better mentally now. Physically though, it has went down hill since I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease a few months after I left and just it's been difficult managing it since I'm so new. I'm so use to NOT being sick, I was the healthiest child, was only sick like maybe 2 days a year. Rarely ever got sick, now it's just UGH. Lol. But yes, in general, I'm so glad I'm out. I'm happily with my loving and supportive boyfriend who cares for me and is concerned of my wellbeing.

    • mydragonmoon

      563d

      My ex husband was extremely manipulative and emotionally abusive. We were married for 15 years. 7 were pretty good. But then he started lying about everything. He gaslight me so badly. It was pretty bad.

      • brabbit

        556d

        @mydragonmoon I'm so glad you were able to get out! ā¤ļø I'm kinda surprised it took 7 years for the mask to come off.

    • kookie2020

      563d

      I was and so glad I divorced him when I did

    • Gianna321

      563d

      I am starting to think I am married to one. Iā€™m kinda scared to dig into it šŸ˜„

      • brabbit

        563d

        @Gianna321 this sounds so silly but I first suspected after finding myself on the narcissist side of tik tok. Good luck to you & feel free to message me if you have any questions ā™„ļø

    • MithPhenix

      563d

      Iā€™m starting to suspect that Iā€™m married to a narcissist, since all these algorithms seem to want to send me stuff about being in a relationship with one, but I struggle to think these things she does that match with that stuff, sheā€™s consciously choosing to. I donā€™t want to divorce her, I just want to find out what caused the sudden change that made her line up with one in the last couple of years. Weā€™ve been together for 19 years but the last 3 sheā€™s been doing a lot of these narcissistic traits. Iā€™m not going to judge anyone whose in a different situation and wants out though, so I would say if you want to leave them, just do it and donā€™t talk to them about it if youā€™re afraid theyā€™ll try to manipulate you from leaving, while their gone at work just take your stuff and leave then let someone else serve the divorce papers after youā€™ve changed your number and scrubbed your socials

    • Cece7

      566d

      Yes! Itā€™s insanely difficult and he still causes issue as we share a kid together. Feel free to message if you want to talk about whatā€™s going on with you!

      • brabbit

        564d

        @Cece7 thank you so much ā¤ļø I've distanced from mine as much as I can but he still expects me to pay for his life like he's entitled to it. Setting boundaries has been something I've been working on for a while now but it's still difficult.

    • SophieTsune

      567d

      I was engaged to one for about a year and a half. Was absolutely brutal

    • Ink789

      568d

      my mom was, but hes divorcing her for another women but yet he refuses to sign the papers right now, i have a good understanding of the divorce if you have any questions

      • brabbit

        567d

        @Ink789 thank you for offering your help ā¤ļø this isn't my first divorce unfortunately. Just trying to connect with people who have been emotionally abused by a narcissist

        • Ink789

          567d

          @brabbit i understand. i have been, he wasnt abusive to my mom but he was heavily to me and my sister. i can only relate to him being a narcissist and abusive but not the marriage part. i hope you get through it though! you deserve kindnessā¤ļø

    • AriEden

      568d

      bruh npd is a mental illness too, don't throw us under the bus

      • katitomato

        545d

        @AriEden did just want to point out here that while most narcissists are abusive, it is NOT a criteria of narcissism to be abusive according to the DSM 5. That doesnā€™t dismiss the fact that many people are abused by narcissists, including the OP, and it is a common behavior among narcissists, but it is possible to be a narcissist without being abusive.

        • AriEden

          545d

          @katitomato did you think this was a good response

      • SophieTsune

        556d

        @AriEden it is, you are correct. However, the abuse is the issue, not the diagnosis. A diagnosis is simply a stepping stone that many NPD cannot take because of the hallmarks of the issue. So. It's not an inaccurate question.

      • TheFemaleSmokey

        558d

        @AriEden this is supposed to be an app with no drama. Mental illness or not... Ableist or not... Don't say stuff like that on someone's feed just because you take offense. This is supposed to be a place to safely express ourselves and comments like that make people leave which could be a bad thing if they are suicidal ijs. The way I see it, ur never gna meet the person you are calling an "ableist" so ignore it. Can't take offense to a stranger. We are allowed to vent here but drama free. Nothing good could every come from a comment like the one you said. Everyone knows name calling is starting crap.

        • AriEden

          556d

          @TheFemaleSmokey no, you actually have no right to be ableist. ever. not even in your safe space, that y'know, isn't safe for other mentally ill people.

      • GeneralBonkers

        564d

        @AriEden in true narcissist fashion you took this post that has nothing to do with you and made it about you

        • AriEden

          563d

          @GeneralBonkers the post about narcs isn't about me, a narc. okay. pretty sure that's gaslighting, but you could never do that, you don't have evil disease (npd) /s

        • AriEden

          563d

          @GeneralBonkers you ppl constantly insinuate that random bad ppl have my disorder do you not see how hilarious this response is

      • GeneralBonkers

        564d

        @AriEden asking if someone has been able to divorce their abusive partner isn't throwing you under the bus but if the shoe fits wear it

      • brabbit

        567d

        @AriEden nobody is throwing anybody under the bus. I personally have been emotionally abused by someone with NPD and have PTSD from it & I'm trying to connect with people who have been through something similar.

        10

      • Neuco

        567d

        @AriEden NPD and ASPD are very different from BPD.

        • AriEden

          567d

          @Neuco no, you're just ableist honey, work on that

    • TheFemaleSmokey

      569d

      3x

    • Neuco

      569d

      I'm currently going through the process. My state has a waiting period to file for divorce, but I'm currently separated and have been since February.

ā˜ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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