Dealing with an Abuser During Family Crisis

I have to be around one of my abusers with no buffer today. My Grandmother is recovering from surgery. Despite the fact I took off work to help her (and that I actually live here, know where everything is, and am the only biological female here so she'll only let me help her get to the bathroom) he insists on staying. We've already gotten off to a shitty start as I asked him to CALL me (I was sleeping off a sickness that started yesterday) when they were leaving the surgery center so I could be up and ready to help out. He didn't. Thankfully I woke up naturally. An hour later. Knowing that he already thinks I'm lazy peice of garbage when I'm not there at his beck and call (at least as he had reminded me constantly over the first 20+ years of my life) and worrying about the help I may have already missed giving my grandmother. I panicked. I was shaking with anxiety when I got there. He noticed. This made me more anxious. The only thing that pissed him off more than me sleeping (doesn't matter if I'm sick or hurt) was me displaying any negative emotions. And obviously I couldn't tell him off because he couldn't follow a simple instruction because I already didn't want to be screamed at. I had to leave the house for a bit. I couldn't be anxious around him knowing what the consequences were. He even had the audacity to ask if I wanted to talk about it! You mean like the hundreds of other times I tried to talk to you about how you make me feel? Just so you can tell me everything's my fault? How I should've just done whatever solution gave you no responsibility to speak of? Or better yet, take the option that completely ignores my feeling physically or mentally because you think that's the best version of me? Unfortunately, I faltered for a second and considered it because of all I had been doing to unlearn bottling my feelings. My partner I can tell how I actually feel about something, they'll work with me even if they didn't like hearing what I had to say. My abuser will gaslight me as far as the day is long and get pissed I felt angry at him in the first place because I don't have a right to think negatively about him. It doesn't matter if he finally figured out how to be a good father to his new kids he doesn't even have to raise all the time, he still abused me for 20+ years and that isn't going to magically disappear because he suddenly understands that talking to a child is a lot better than beating them. Not like he feels bad about it either. In his head half the stuff he did doesn't exist or he switched the narrative to make it to where I deserved it. He's not even sorry.