Struggling with Self-Harm Triggers in Media

I do this far too much. And I have finally figured out why we do it. At least, for most of us. Whether we like it or not, we will naturally be more comfortable with what we've always known. That's good, or bad. It's why we sometimes perpetuate abuse by dating abusive people, or engage in behaviors that make us feel terrible, yet it's what we know. I have always been obsessed with horror movies in particular, especially human monsters like slasher films. In a big way, I know now I was trying to immerse myself in the world of the psychopath, to understand why he did the things he did. Now that I'm on antidepressants and going to therapy, I've been mindful to try to not watch so much of it, or bring my attention to depressing things around the world because it only makes me sink deeper. I even still actively avoid things that make me happy or feel good, and I'm attempting to force myself, even if it doesn't feel natural or if half feelings can be very uncomfortable to me still. I recommend thinking of one thing that gives you warm fuzzy feelings and try to focus on that from time to time, even if it feels forced at first. For me, it's painting, writing, or creating things. At first I just beat myself up and tell myself how bad I am at it, but the more we force ourselves to spend time doing things that make us happy, the more natural that happiness will start to feel familiar. Of course this is a really fast and oversimplified version of everything I've learned... it can be really difficult to force yourself and sometimes motivation is absolutely on zero. Try something silly like getting yourself a stuffed animal, coloring, sitting outside, anything that you associate with nice feelings, however small, here and there til it starts to feel natural. I'm here if you want to talk. ❤️