bergamot_b

186d

Hi! I'm BB (they/them). I'm hoping to get some advice or maybe just some words about my silly goofy behaviors.
For pretty much my entire life I haven't been able to keep a friend. It's either been that they mess me up in some way or they mess me up. I know it sounds dramatic, but unfortunately it's very very real 🥲
Half-ish can be attributed to my terrible terrible habit of self sabotaging.
My best friend of 3 years blocked me out of nowhere at the beginning of the year. It was unprompted, truly, and pretty devastating. I still have my partner and 1 good friend. But I'm so lonely and need some help and advice on how to stop this extreme self sabotage that so heavily affects my relationships. I'm so tired of being abandoned and doing the abandoning myself. All help appreciated, thank you. 💜

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

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  • CheleKelly

    186d

    I get that. I actually back In February had to cut out my ex best friend cause her behavior was toxic to me and I just told her in a text and on TextFree app cus she blocked me randomly when I’d be in my crazy states. I have this thing on my door that I printed off to remember about bpd. It’s a struggle but know your not alone and feel free to reach out. Also have you tried Dialectal Behavior Therapy it made miracles on me? I just have to remember to use those skills I learned from the year of group and individual therapy with my much missed therapist who got me in that good state for a lil over a year.

    • bergamot_b

      186d

      Thank you for responding! I don't have much in the way of CBT, just a few brief mentions of it from therapy sessions from years ago. I do currently have a therapist and she's actually helpful! We briefly touched on my self sabotaging behavior, but we haven't been able to do a deep dive yet. I just want to make friends and not lose the people I still somehow have 🥲💜

      • CheleKelly

        186d

        it’s not CBT it’s DBT much more intense and does cover CBT. Making friends is very difficult especially if they don’t understand BPD or they don’t care to learn about it to understand you and your behaviors better. My ex best friend called me drama queen every time I went into an episode and that is far from what people like us are.

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