Struggling to Keep Friends: Need Advice

Hi! I'm BB (they/them). I'm hoping to get some advice or maybe just some words about my silly goofy behaviors. For pretty much my entire life I haven't been able to keep a friend. It's either been that they mess me up in some way or they mess me up. I know it sounds dramatic, but unfortunately it's very very real 🥲 Half-ish can be attributed to my terrible terrible habit of self sabotaging. My best friend of 3 years blocked me out of nowhere at the beginning of the year. It was unprompted, truly, and pretty devastating. I still have my partner and 1 good friend. But I'm so lonely and need some help and advice on how to stop this extreme self sabotage that so heavily affects my relationships. I'm so tired of being abandoned and doing the abandoning myself. All help appreciated, thank you. 💜