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Dealing with Rude People as a Chronically Ill Person

KhronicKoder

464d

I've been using my cane for almost 2 weeks now. I was apprehensive at first, as I'm only 28 and new to the chronically ill life. But it's been a huge help and I'm not as pained/fatigued after being out! The issues I'm finding is that people are so... rude/ignorant? For example, if I'm walking with my cane, and people are walking towards me side-by-side, they continue walking side-by-side. They don't go single file beside me. I usually have to step to the side, like into the road, and let them pass. Sometimes they actually walk into me and hit me and/or my cane as they pass. A woman entered a lift today and she saw me walking as quickly as I could towards it with my cane to get in too. She looked into my eyes as the doors closed. I had to stand and wait a few minutes for the lift to come back after shopping. I was exhausted 😩 I'm angry for all the chronically ill and disabled people who have to put up with this - I had no idea! I don't even know what to say in these situations and I don't have the energy for an argument. Does anyone else experience things like this? What do you do?

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Top reply
    • mthebrave

      450d

      I'm 30 and used a cane when I was 29, but like you, I found that people didn't notice the cane. I think innocently because they just saw at face height that I'm young. I've since bought a rollator and used it for the first time today. I got a lot more stares using it but a lot more people were considerate to move around me or wait for me and it has a seat with storage to take breaks and sit down, so I hope it'll enable me to walk even further and get my step count up. Plus, I think it's much better for my posture with ankylosing spondylitis as with a cane, you're putting more of your body weight onto one side of the body. Some days, I really struggle with shopping and just want to cry at how inaccessible it is , fed up of people asking inappropriate questions and offering unsolicited non-helpful advice in store. But online food shopping is expensive, so I really empathise with you. You might be able to get a PA to help you, which I've considered, but I try to keep my independence up. I think it gets easier over time, and physical health comes before ignorant judgements. We need more advertising of young cane and rollator users for sure!

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    • mthebrave

      450d

      I'm 30 and used a cane when I was 29, but like you, I found that people didn't notice the cane. I think innocently because they just saw at face height that I'm young. I've since bought a rollator and used it for the first time today. I got a lot more stares using it but a lot more people were considerate to move around me or wait for me and it has a seat with storage to take breaks and sit down, so I hope it'll enable me to walk even further and get my step count up. Plus, I think it's much better for my posture with ankylosing spondylitis as with a cane, you're putting more of your body weight onto one side of the body. Some days, I really struggle with shopping and just want to cry at how inaccessible it is , fed up of people asking inappropriate questions and offering unsolicited non-helpful advice in store. But online food shopping is expensive, so I really empathise with you. You might be able to get a PA to help you, which I've considered, but I try to keep my independence up. I think it gets easier over time, and physical health comes before ignorant judgements. We need more advertising of young cane and rollator users for sure!

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    • natken86

      450d

      I am 36 and I should of used a walking stick along time ago but I didnt as I worried how people would judge me sounds silly right I agree this does help about but I find my arm hurts after using it I got a good stick purple my fave colour and it's a spunge grip so no blisters

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    • Pain_Warrior89

      463d

      Definitely worth checking out @chronicallyjenni on instagram if your struggling for confidence with your cane or aid

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      • KhronicKoder

        463d

        @Pain_Warrior89 Thanks! I'll check them out!

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    • starlightnovas

      464d

      I have the same experience when I use my cane it's exhausting! However a trick I've adopted is when people are walking towards me (cane or not) I look past their shoulder heading towards my destination, they see that and most times they move out the way, I read that hack years ago and has worked nearly all the time! Probably also helps I have a serious rbf 😅

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      • KhronicKoder

        463d

        @starlightnovas I'll try this in future! 😅

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    • Radios

      464d

      What sucks is I know that those prayers are where their caring ends. Those same people will watch me struggle to reach something on the shelf or on the floor and do nothing. They'll see me enter the bathroom and crowd the place, making it hard for me to get through. They'll badger me when I've told them repeatedly to leave me alone.

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      • Pain_Warrior89

        463d

        @Radios who do?

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        • Radios

          463d

          @Pain_Warrior89 I meant to reply to my last comment but it didn't register as a reply.

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    • Radios

      464d

      The few times I've worked up the courage to use a mobility aid I get ignorant or pitying looks. A few times ive been offered prayers or been unwillingly prayed over. I still refuse to use mobility scooters because of it. Like leave me alone.

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      • KhronicKoder

        463d

        @Radios ahhh it's one or the other - ignorance or pity 🙃

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    • Pain_Warrior89

      464d

      I've got a mobility scooter but I'm looked at like im just lazy, eyes rolling. Comments made. It's the only way I can go out but I HATE using it cause hoe people ate

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    • La_Dama

      464d

      I'm the same age. people just are worse than ever. I'm pretty lucky I got family and friends to help support me when I got things that need doing. I think people just show their true colours more theses day. I'm sorry people are just so unkind x

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☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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