Struggling with Self-Harm Thoughts

i've struggled with self-harm for a few years now, and lately it's been far more frequent and scarring. i know that feeling where it's all you can think about. i have that every day and it drives me insane especially when i'm out and get interrupted by these thoughts out of the blue. i think for many people the desire to hurt themselves is the desire to rather feel some kind of physical pain to detach their mind from the constant and severe emotional pain they're experiencing. i think that's true for me, too. i'll say from experience, it doesn't make you feel better. you might feel a short release, but it won't last long—kind of like how an addict's body reacts less and less to a drug. it's a terrible cycle to be stuck in, and i sincerely hope you don't get sucked into it. i've heard of a lot of great alternatives to self-harm when you get those strong urges. i'll list a few here. - draw lines on paper with red ink - squeeze an ice cube in your hand (just not enough to damage your skin) - tear or cut paper with scissors - punch your pillow repeatedly, get the pent up energy out - crumple a plastic bottle or a cardboard box i know that for people who are particularly bombarded with the urge to self-harm, these alternatives might not be perfect or effective in the long term. the number one thing i'd tell you is to be gentle with yourself and take care of yourself. your body and mind need it, and you deserve it. i hope you find your way through these rough days, OP. if you ever need someone to talk to about this, please feel free to chat with me anytime. sending hugs ♡