I have this extreme fear of making decisions. I always feel like I'm disappointing someone or that I'm going to make them mad. I have no clue how to stop caring about what others think and just do what's best for me.
Anxiety (Including GAD)
youre not alone! for me it stems from being constantly badgered as a kid by family to just “hurry and pick” when there was just one or neither correct choice to choose from just to make fun of me or something. even as an adult it still affects me! its annoying :( its hard to unlearn but i just have to self assure that majority of the time, the choice im making is what *i* want, and i should be content with the choice i make since im making that decision for myself, not other people when im alone.
With friends they give me a playfully hard time but nothing im uncomfortable with, but just to help me unlearn that behavior. they just give me two equally as liked choices of where to go, what to do etc. and dont complain when i choose or dont choose. im lucky to have them! its still awkward and hard to do it some days but its getting better. i hope you can get better with it too. its hard but being able to see progress is super rewarding :]
My parents were over protective so I never got to make my own choices. So when I became an adult I would always call my mom and have her tell me what to do, sadly she noticed this and was like no you're an adult make your own decisions. I try but it feels like I'm going to chose the wrong one even though there is no wrong answer. I still call my mom and ask what I should do. I still get the same, do what you want you're an adult, but normally she'll give me her opinion which helps. I've gotten to the point where sometimes I listen and do what she says and sometimes I do what I want. But if I mess up I still have to hear from her that I was wrong. Lol
I do the same thing school has gotten so bad with bullying and stuff that i have to move with my dad and go to another hole school and i was planning on moving in to my dads in late August but i just didnt want to move in that late so i wanted to ask my mom if i can move in sooner but i didn't know how because I've lived with my mom my whole life and now im not so i said to myself no dont do that your mom will miss you and i felt so bad that i had to have my dad ask her but now i life with my dad
So I have this same issue and after discussing with a therapist at some length, I learned that it is actually a trauma response. It's called approval addiction. And it's so hard to overcome but not impossible. I have been working on mine for a while and I still feel like this a lot. But it has helped me so that I can ask my husband for help when I need it without feeling guilty. There is a book called Approval Addiction. I forget who it's by. But if you are interested i have a copy and could send it to you. I'm here of you want to talk about anything at all.
thank you so much!! That would be amazing. I always have trouble with making decisions or if someone disagrees with me I shut down and basically say they are right etc.
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