How do you get over feeling worthless if you can't do anything for others? This is the worst feeling and the greatest triggering factor in my depression. If I'm not functioning at one hundred percent or higher, I feel like I'm letting everyone down and like I'm not worthy of basic human needs. Like I'm a total waste of space and resources. And I don't know how to stop feeling like this.
I struggled with this too, I ended up going to therapy and that was very beneficial to me
Feeling worthless is just a sign of depression; it's not the truth. You are important and you are wanted.
Try to remind yourself: "Would I say this to anyone else? Would I treat a kid this way? If I could see my younger self right now, would I say "you are not enough! You're worthless" to them?" I bet you wouldn't. Remember you're worthy of love just as much as anyone else. You did nothing to deserve the way you feel. Recognize shame for what it is and remember it is not there to be helpful to you. Shame is toxic. Because saying "I should" or "I shouldn't have" almost always creates shame, it is considered bad word in my house. My husband corrects me if I ever say it, even for something trivial. So I'd suggest trying to stop using the word "should". (Because words have power). So instead say "I'd be good if I ____ "
I struggle with this also. Therapy is helping me sort it out, but the struggle is real. I think it’s rooted in the fact that my husband of 11 years couldn’t deal with having a chronically ill partner, and was very unkind to me about it for over 2 years before I figured out how abusive and detrimental his behavior towards me was, and I left. It also helps to surround yourself with compassionate friends, and those who have similar experiences, and understand what you are going through. 💕
I feel this in many ways. Especially when I feel this great sense to need to help, and great emptiness/hopelessness when I feel I can’t or just can’t. You’re not alone. Some things that help me:
- therapy like Auntieto2 said. You can run it by a therapist who can help you realize your own value so you can appreciate and love that part of yourself that wants so badly to help others!
- in therapy I learned journaling was my best tool (for me). This is a topic I journal about often - how I want to help but feel I can’t, if I can’t why, etc etc. Thoughts to paper is so therapeutic or you could also try talking your thoughts out loud into a recorder
- though I’m not a therapist I’m here to tell you you ARE worthy and deserving. Writing it on a sticky note helps me remember and I put it on my mirror
- I’m not sure what your situation is/are and I don’t want to undermine any of it. Sometimes things are out of our control and/or we can’t change something alone. if there’s are ways you can express support, that is great, but if you simply can’t help, it’s important to trust yourself that you’ve done what you can - you have to protect your own energy, too.
Long rant. I hope any of this is helpful and you got this
Oops!! I meant to say "it would be house if I" . Not "I'd".
... good* not house
Only the last couple mo really bad so yes very often I feel useless and that's why I rely on my counselor, and hubs (support system) to remind me otherwise 🤗❤️
I 1,000% feel this. I’m actually working on it in therapy right now. It doesn’t help when my dad is CONSTANTLY telling me what I’m doing wrong. I have to literally scream at myself all the things I’ve accomplished for the day. Even if its as little as getting out of bed.
You’re in good company. I’m bedridden and feel the exact same way.🤗🤗
I agree with the above statements ^^ try to think of how you would treat a friend if they were depressed. You would be kind and understanding (especially since you’ve been there). I have a chronic illness that prevents me from being even 25% like my old self. My old self was a fitness instructor with endless energy and a natural caretaker as i had to take on that role for a sick parent at 13. Now that I am in need of care I sometimes feel unworthy of love but I have to keep reminding myself that guilt and these intrusive thoughts are just thoughts! They are not reality. The thoughts are probably just so hard wired in our mind from something that happened in our childhood, we don’t even realize it. But we believe it to be true, especially when we can’t get out of bed, can’t contribute financially, or can’t do all the things that maybe others around us can do. Please don’t let that diminish your self worth. You are worthy no matter what you do/ don’t do on a daily basis
Character is not judged by the amount of tasks you can get done or by overworking..
For me, medication helps a lot. Also making sure to *try* to drink enough water, eat well, sleep enough, move my body. Even if I focus on one of those things.
I feel this way a lot and it sucks feeling worthless isn’t good it hurts so bad but if you try and tell people about how you are feeling they just say you will okay but that hurts even more bc you think you won’t that’s why you just have to try and find that one person that will help you get thru the way you feel
The fact that you are even able to type this says that you are able to do SOMETHING for others, for one thing... For another thing, even convicts on death row are worthy of having basic needs like food and shelter met until their execution (lest the legal system should sink to their level). If your family is guilting you for having basic needs, they are cruel people. And if you wouldn't say/do these things to another, don't do it to you. I struggle with this one as I feel unworthy of love and food as long as I am fat and I don't feel that way about other people who are overweight (I am not medically overweight but I still feel enormous and vile sometimes- and I only equate the two when referring to myself).
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