KarlyGalin

119d

Hey, we're back with a boyfriend vent. When we first started dating I was so unhealthy mentally, then yk i got not so caring. I wasnt used to it yk? but im so in love i think. When he leaves i sob I literally sob, Im sitting here with his sweater on my lap trying noy to cry. but i evem cry when hes here. i just want to be held and cared for. i feel so dumb, I just want him. I dont want him to go and i know its not healthy to constantly be telling him i dont want to lose him I just. Im so sad without him right next me. I hate the idea of being without him physically but hes so busy and im just here. we met when we were both so sad, now hes okay and happy and thats amazing but i still have my conditions and he makes me feel like annoying for still having it or makes me feel weird for liking certain things or wanting love i feel so upset

Depression

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  • Vyowleta

    118d

    Aw I know how you feel. I’ve been in a similar situation with a close friend of mine who is no longer in my life. I’d constantly fear of being distant and losing him, or when he does eventually abandon me. Strangely enough it would be something that I’d try to convince myself that it would happen. I would also become sad when he’s not around, or just feel extremely empty. I’d constantly cry when there would be a mood change or a slight difference in the conversations with him when he’s not as engaging. Which causes me to overthink a bunch. I’m not one to judge your relationship and as much as you care about him, if you think he doesn’t acknowledge or is not as mindful about your mental issues, try to talk to him about it in a calmly manner and explain how it’s affecting you. And also explain what he can do to help you move forward on your healing journey. Another thing you should also do is strongly consider how to prioritize your own company instead of his. Yeah it’s sucks when he’s not around, but he can’t ultimately cure your issues. It is unhealthy when the love you have for him gets to a point where you have to constantly rely on him to always be there to give you the love that you need for yourself. The only person that can give you that kind of love is yourself. It’s that kind of love you seek from within. I know what it’s like to struggle with mental health issues and lack of self-love towards ourselves. But you also need to understand that no one can truly be there for us except us. Even if it’s someone you’re close with and you dearly love. I learned that the hard way. I held that similar expectation onto that close friend of mine and it ended up tearing that friendship apart. (It’s also an extremely complicated story, but that’s a whole another mess.) I know exactly where you’re coming from. But if you feel like you need him to co-exist in your life in order to feel loved and happy, that’s not a healthy form of love. I’m sure your boyfriend does not want to see you sad or hurt. Try your best not to be too mentally and emotionally hard on yourself. You deserve to be loved and cared for, but I feel like you’re finding that kind of love in the wrong places. I really hope you feel better. I wish you the best. Take care ❤️

  • waova

    116d

    I'm sure he never ever ever in a million billion whatever is bigger then that years will ever find you annoying and I know he love you more then life itself and just because he acts like his conditions have gotten better doesn't mean they have mental illness will never just go away for any reason so there's no reason to worried about being annoying I'm also sure he didn't know he made you feel weird for liking stuff and there's never a time where he would not give you love if you wanted it I think your bf would do anything and everything for you and to make you feel loved

    • KarlyGalin

      90d

      🧍🏻‍♀️

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