Struggling with Anorexia: Seeking Answers and Support

TW- TALK OF ANOREXIA (No numbers) Hey! I have always been very self conscious/ashamed of my anorexia, simply because it's different than other people's anorexia (at least from the people I have met in and out of treatment) I'm not weight conscious, I know as a fact I am underweight, I actually think I'd look better if I wasn't underweight. I do not know the cause of my ED. my grandma had bulimia, so genetics play a part, but that can't be the only reason. it's not appearance based, or control based, Its not guilt that someone else should have it... I am trying to recover, but it's hard to do if I'm not sure the cause. If anyone has any ideas of a possible cause, relates, wants to talk, or simply has questions, feel free to comment or message me!