Struggling with Religion and Identity

i’ve been buddhist my entire life and for me it has helped soothed my worries about an afterlife and since there is no sense of grand goodness or grand evil it has helped my paranoia. when my paranoia and delusions make me feel like an awful person buddhism has helped me challenge those beliefs because in buddhism by doing a small charitable or kind act with no reward such as picking up trash or being nice to another person by being nice to them you will receive good karma which is basically good luck. karma dictates what kind of a future you will have in this life and the next life. if you have a lot of bad karma by being mean and profiting off of charitable acts it doesn’t mean in this life or your next you will be banished to an eternal suffering or you’re a bad person it just means you’ll have a little bit more bad luck than the next person in this life and the next life. karma isn’t a fixed thing though, you can always change your karma and it isn’t a death sentence. i think you should look into buddhism if anything i said clicked with you. but if you don’t want to that’s fine and if you would want to still identify as a christian i would support you and send you as much love as possible. to me religion is a personal path and i don’t want to force anything on you!! also i would consider myself a romantic goth/mall goth if that helps :) i hope you have a wonderful day and remember you’re not alone! i can also answer more questions about buddhism if you’d like. 💕 🦋