What to Do When Things Get Too Much?

I think you need to have a calm conversation about the things that are bothering you and ask him to be open with you about anything he's going through. If he doesn't open up to you or make some changes it might be time to reconsider the relationship. But also remember to be patient change takes time and habits are hard to break.

If you can, take a break from the situation and get away from it for a little bit. Even if it's just small like going to a park for lunch or to a friend's house for the night. Get away and just process it, figure out how you feel about it all as I'm sure it's frustrating, and just try to think about what things you can both do to make the situation better. Then, once you have a couple things in mind that would be helpful (maybe help them figure out why showering/brushing teeth is hard and figure out a solution), honestly just talk to them about it and be truthful. Living with someone or being with someone can be stressful at points but just stop, think about it, and communicate. Honestly communication is so key for things like that. I mean I'm sure it's cliche to say, but it's true. I hope that's helpful!

I genuinely don't understand what's so appealing about men like this. Like it's a no brainer in my opinion that the two of you should not be together, cause that's some red flaggy behavior

I think you may need to talk to your partner in a calm way as he may be stuggling mentaly too. Try to find out why he's not taking care of himself and if anything is on his mind. I know it's hard to not get angry and frustrated with breathing sounds etc but try to remember he's not doing it on purpose. Xx