Venting about Family Conflict

so this me venting. yesterday was my husband's birthday. mind you he was already in a bad head space, so he took the day off. he decided he wanted to clean since I don't usually have help. after running my mother around we met at dennys. unfortunately we got a rude server who kept messing stuff up plus my mother was being my mother never satisfied by anything. so that started the build up. we got home all hell broke loose he swept up around my mother's chair. now my mother is lazy lazy lazy and disgusting. so her area is a disaster. which is a major ocd trigger for him, it is for me too but I've dealt with it from her for 36 years so, but because he swept up a bill they got into a screaming match. he lost it. all of which sent me into a panic attack. he sounded like my ex and like my dad. so I dug through trash and found it. which I know is just enabling my abuser more. I was so panicked that I started pulling my hair out again. now the tension is so thick you can choke on it. I guess you can put that many broken ppl together. ok done with vent.