Feeling Stuck and Overwhelmed: Is Giving Up the Only Option?

Is it possible to be too comfortable? I'm not sure if that's what it is, but I feel back into old habits again. I cant manage the most simple of stuff other than someone telling me what to do. I don't feel sure of any steps I take. It takes me weeks or months to get something done because no matter how much I learn when I can or want to, it's always been one little annoying step that I was behind. I don't feel as if I even have the same cognitive ability to problem solve or connect things like I use to either. It's just been about me and reoccurring feelings I have. Letting time pass like nothing. Missed the deaths and funerals of the 2 most important pieces of my past. It's really difficult to not see myself as a failure. I've also talked with my girlfriend about all of these feelings numerous times and a little talk, she picks something up for me that I liked, and it helps for a little while until I'm by myself again. I should have so many reasons to have the motivation to do stuff like everybody else. I don't have a reason to keep falling back into bed. I feel that I don't exactly have a logical reason to live. To continue my mediocrity as is. I change it for a little while and weed n' alcohol has helped me stash those thoughts and feelings for awhile, but the outbursts I get just keep getting worse. Every time I catch a glimpse of a thought about recent events, or about my family. They all knew me as someone I fabricated. I took a stereotype from characters I liked at the time. Everything was easier to live with when I was a character. I feel like I've got my storybook character in this "happy ending" stage. All because I've been able to see the little things I wished for come true. Having someone in my life who was a lot like me who didn't care for sex, and was as loyal as can be. Someone to help me feel better than I was. She has taken me to places I never would have seen and things I never would have done if I never took that leap with her. The basic next steps of life seem so overwhelming considering how far behind I feel. I don't see myself being normal, living that normal life. My gf feels like the only piece of...anything I really have left. I've tried so hard to detach from my family. I couldn't. I've tried to get myself out of this "phase" for years and I couldn't. Thinking the only thing that could truly save me would be a coma or amnesia. I hate myself for what I can't be. I've either tried everything in the book and I've heard or researched myself what my problems could be and what my many therapists have said. Is it really illogical to give up and try again in a different life? I don't care for what does it, or how it's done because it's not like I've been able to do it myself.