Struggling with Negative Thoughts and Self-Injury Urges

I have had many nights where I cry so much I can't sleep for a long time. The next day I remember what happened last night and start getting depressed again and start thinking of self injury. I don't like these thoughts but I can't stop them at the same time. The worst part is if I get anxiety the same day I am in big trouble and just want it all to end but it won't end for a long time. That ties into the self injury part but I know I could never do that to the people I love. Thanks for your time this is more of just venting but feel free to comment if you want.