pizza2

28d

I self harmed.
I hadn't self harmed in 3 years.
I haven't told anyone. I probably should, but I know what comes next when I do.
Therapist: "And how do you feel about that?" or "What did you feel in that moment?" Nothing. I felt nothing. scribble scribble.
Psychiatrist: "We should up your medication." I don't want to up my medication. scribble scribble.
"You shouldn't do that." or "Thats not good for you." or "Think happy thoughts." What a revelation, I wish I had thought of that.
"You're selfish." "There are people who have it much worse than you." People can be cruel and selfish when they think they know your experience better than you.

Something that doesn't make sense to me: I didn't feel anything before, during, or after hurting myself. No hatred, no disappointment, no glee, no relief, just nothing. I felt nothing, and yet, I want to do it again.

Sorry for the emotional dump.

Acute self-inflicted injury

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Depression

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  • duckling

    28d

    Saw your latest post, firstly you should never apologize for getting something like that off your chest. I'm sorry you recently relapsed, I actually did as well. For me it had been 2 years, and just like you I didn't feel shit when I did it. Not much I can offer you, just know you aren't alone

  • mystical.bear

    27d

    You should never be sorry . But I get it I relapse alot and my mother/caretaker gets upset when I do it . I don't feel anything. So I get what your going through. My only advice is to keep going . If you can't get out of bed, make yourself. Find a hobby or something that you like doing . Ik this sounds kinda dumb but if you have those feelings journal it . It doesn't have to be formal . My journal contains magazine snippings , doodles , my thoughts and feelings about the day , what I wanna do in the next few months, what I want (object wise) ect. And always remember your not alone, you and your feelings are valid , you are loved ❤️ I'm here if you need to vent

  • TheUglyDuckling

    27d

    You don’t have to figure it out. Just keep trying the next day to do better. Talk about it if you need to just so you can release that energy and self regulate. It will get better. Mental illness doesn’t last forever. It’s treatable and we heal. Just keep doing what you feel is best for you.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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