Struggling with Depression in My Marriage

I feel like I’m in the same dilemma. I been trying to focus on myself to not put pressure on him but I feel very lonely. He’s a good man bla bla bla but very bad at showing his feelings for me. So makes me nuts!! I have considered all of the alternatives you mention and I haven’t done any of them for fear of breaking up for good. If u come up with something please share🙏

I have anxiety, panic disorder and depression and my husband is making it worse. I feel so down! Every thing is always my fault never his. Even when he is wrong or does something wrong it's my fault. He talks down to me and then says it's my fault that I deserve the way he talks to me and the way he treats me. No matter what I do it's never good enough. I clean the house it's not clean enough. I go to work it's not good enough. I attend to our children it's not good enough. I feel like I'm slowly sinking into a hole and there is no way out. I'm so depressed and panicking at the same time. I can not talk to him about it because he says I'm just nagging or fabricating it things up in my head. What am I supposed to do. I love my husband but I'm to the point that I'm ready to leave.

Marriage counseling may help get him more relaxed and less weary of therapy. He might just decide he needs his own counselor. Pray for him and ask for guidance finding the right kind of therapy that he would be interested in.

My gf was in the same situation as you. As it’s more one sided, he started to take a mens vitamins, that helped with his overall health. It helped him mentally and physically. She tried the vitamins too- she said it helped her mentally and physically too. They are doing a lot better now. She’s not depressed as she once was. She has moments, every once in a while, not daily anymore. The mens vitamins helped with her husband libido too. I’d love to share more information with you. Have you tried marriage therapy together?

Its really tough, my wife and I are in a similar place in our lives right now and are also unsure of what to do. Its a really difficult choice but we are leaning towards living apart for at least 3-6 months to each be able to focus on ourselves half the week and our children the other half. It may be the one thing that will help us be more present with our kids and also get that real self-care time to start to heal. Its difficult sometimes to do it together, there are always pressures and things going on. But its also really hard when everything about your life is with that person. Best of luck to you, and whatever you decide, youre doing the right thing by still focusing on your healing.

Then that's when you need an ultimatum. It's a tough way of saying it, but it is still a way of showing you care and how much you want it to work. Telling someone to do therapy and asking someone to do therapy become two different things when this happens (I realize how similar these sound but I hope my point still stands).

I’m in a similar situation. We’re disabled and married.,The depression is caused by our disabilities and the fact we got away from certain spiritual practices and we both want the marriage and all I can say to. ( and myself) is don’t give up. I’ll keep you in prayer.

I'm not married and I apologize if this is irrelevant, but I think your husband is wary, maybe even afraid of the idea of vocalizing his issues to a stranger. What you described could be an ultimatum: seek therapy or give each other space (I'm neither advising nor dismissing this idea). Talk to him again and discuss these same concerns with him. Maybe help him find a therapist or go with him to some of his appointments. Even see about getting him evaluated by a professional, that alone is a big step to progress. Wish you the best of luck