Growing Up with a Drug Addict Father and His Friends

!!!TW!!! When I was little my dad was a drug addict. I grew up going to random peoples houses, sleeping in hotels and cars. I’ve taken needles out of his arm, i’ve had to call 911 I mean you name it. When my dad was caught up in his addiction, I was around his “friends” a lot. Theses so called “friends” of his on multiple occasions raped me even next to my dad when he was completely out from drugs. 4 of my fathers friends have raped me. Being around people who even smoke weed can be a huge trigger to me. I never know how to explain it and how I don’t connect them together but it’s triggering because it can remind me of getting raped by different people. I sometimes just feel crazy or nothing is real due to it. So yeah.