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Retro

527d

All I want is a girl who is just as depressed as me, who gets it. I can never have success in relationships because the other person is so happy and doing well, and I worry I’m holding them back. I just want to take care of someone, and be taken care of the same way. I need a partner in this fight, it’s getting so hard all alone.

Top reply
    • ragequit

      525d

      Same 🥺

    • ragequit

      525d

      Same 🥺

    • EternalEyes

      525d

      Team healing. That is where it is at.

    • ArdenIris

      526d

      I want the same exact thing in a relationship. I want to heal with someone else. I want to help my future partner through the hard times and be there to cheer for the good times.

    • Aristol

      526d

      This reminds me of something I struggled with when I was in my first serious relationship I felt like my partner was too "normal" for me; that he'd have to take care of me "more" than a "normal" partner, that my trauma would cause problems that a "normal" partner wouldn't have, etc. I felt like I was holding him back from the "the life he should have". But this is faulty thinking for at least 2 reasons: One, it removes agency from your partner. Your partner can decide what is and isn't enough for them to handle, or even what they want to handle. Ultimately, whatever you or anyone else believes your partner deserves or wants has no real effect on what your partner does. Only they decide what they want and what they do. And this hurts them too, by ignoring their desires and disregarding their feelings. Two, this is one of the times where depression and anxiety can skew perception. Any potential partner will have "stuff" to deal with. It could be mental, it could be physical, it could be familial stress, it could be high standards - it could be literally anything. More often than not, any potential relationship will have to face all of these in some way. And only your partner can decide what "stuff" is too much for them. Someone who wants to be with you is actively choosing to help you face those things in life. Ignoring that based on what you think (i.e. thinking what's best for them) is belittling, and can make your partner feel like you don't respect what they want. With that said, though, I do wanna say that I am Not accusing you here. Obv I don't know you well enough to say any of that. But I find it really helpful to remember that depression can skew my perception of things - minimalizing other people's struggles, putting my own feelings first, doubting other's intentions, etc. Imagine what you'd say to comfort a partner or friend who told you the same thing. Anyway have a good one and I hope things get better for you Retro

      • Retro

        525d

        @Aristol this rly made me feel better, thanks. I always feel I weight ppl down, but it’s good to remember to reframe those feelings. Hope ur well, i appriciate u

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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