everything’s harder.
during quarantine was the worst depression of my life. sleeping in my own trash and filth for months, sleeping and watching tv and blowing up on my friends and cutting them out. when school was back in, ofc i still was depressed but i’ve managed everything better— like cleaning and stuff.
but since last week it’s been hard, cleaning, bathing, even remembering to brush my teeth, staying up til 6am, and fighting the urge not to drop everyone and everything.
i was triggered really badly last week and it’s been like this since. now it’s 3am, and i’m in laying in old clothes, a mess, going through gender dys. and smelling absolutely horrid.
since i have k more anti depressants i’ve been using coffee as one and i can usually function but i can’t keep drinking coffee
i’m not looking for a cure, i just needed to vent
i’ll return to my old self eventually , but for now, im going to allow myself to feel how i feel


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  • ellinoris


    Thanks for venting, of you need a one on one talk you can dm me

  • lavap


    are you in therapy?

    • ellinoris


      I do on and off therapy is better for my mental health

    • Deebee


      nah, im trying to but it’s complicated, they either do not call me at all or schedule on the wrong date after i’ve told them what day i was actually available on

      • ellinoris


        that happens to me way too often then I just give up and deal with NY stuff on my own

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