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T.Baily655

340d

So I need some advice about how to deal with grief? A bit of backstory, I am not an emotional person. I don't cry often and tend to bottle everything up. It is my automatic response to emotions that I can't control or don't know how to deal with. I have done it as long as I can remember. Thankfully my best friend was there when I got the call, when I start to feel guilty for not mourning I remember what she told me, "I have never seen you like that, ever. Thinking about seeing your pain makes me cry because I knew there was nothing I could do except hold you. You are not emotional and I know it's hard for you feeling like this. Take your time, the way you grieve is your own and valid." I am working on getting therapy but it is still a month to 2 months out. As for the grief, my dad passed away unexpectedly on February 20th, 8 days before his 64th birthday. I was living with him and had 8 days to move out before I had to pay rent I couldn't afford. I basically allowed myself the first 3 days to mourn and just do nothing and be emotional but then I had to start packing. I moved 3 times in 3 weeks and I didn't really have the time or brain power to grieve, plan a service, deal with all the stuff I didn't expect being next of kin. I am now living with my mom and things are going okay but because our relationship is rocky I feel like I can't mourn in front of her and that has also made it difficult to allow myself to mourn. I have a lot of things I regret with my dad but I know he wouldn't want me to focus on those things so I try not to. I just wish I would have been there more and helped out more. I know everyone mourns differently and that it will come in time but this is the first death that has been personal and I don't know what to do. I still haven't accepted it fully and expect him to come take me away from this nightmare. I miss him so much and he was my rock. Sorry I haven't talked about it much and I seem to have rambled a bit. If you made it this far thank you for reading.

Top reply
    • T.Baily655

      338d

      @Lucifern That is how I feel all the time. Like sometimes it doesn't even feel like it has a trigger it just hits me then goes away. Sometimes it's five minutes sometimes it 2 hours but usually around 20 minutes.

    • Lucifern

      338d

      Sorry for your loss. 🙏 As someone who also struggles emotionaly like this, when dealing with grief in a sense It just doesnt happen (for me) its sort of blank. But there is triggers that can just set of a wave of emotions before shuting off again. These triggers for me were normally a picture, a song or hearing about them. That and sleeping a lot. Sorry I don't know if thats helpful

      • T.Baily655

        338d

        @Lucifern That is how I feel all the time. Like sometimes it doesn't even feel like it has a trigger it just hits me then goes away. Sometimes it's five minutes sometimes it 2 hours but usually around 20 minutes.

    • Bre19

      340d

      Let yourself feel the emotions

    • Jessica12

      340d

      🙏

      • T.Baily655

        340d

        @Jessica12 Thank you! Hope things are going well!

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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