I’m new in my CPTSD journey. I have a lot of sexual trauma from a past relationship. I’m a lesbian and I’ve faced so much invalidation from both myself and the world from being SA by a female. I’ve also recently had memory resurgences of SA from an old friend of mine. I keep having flashbacks and breakdowns and I’m not sure how to control these strong feelings of betrayal and vulnerability. It all hurts so much. I feel so helpless during these episodes.
Just recently this ex reached out to me and sent this novel length text telling me everything that’s wrong with me as well as saying she did nothing wrong to me. She explicitly stated she did not sexually assault me. That really messed with my head. I can’t escape the moments I shared with her. They haunt me every day. I just want to find more moments of peace.
New to this app, this is my first post

Bipolar Disorder

Complex post traumatic stress disorder

Child sexual abuse

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  • Sarah30


    The only thing that has helped me is time. I remember more and more and the thought that I might be wrong goes away. As new memories come up instead of completely destroying my life over and over the shock wears off and it becomes normal. So it's more like depression instead of wonder and crippling fear. Not much better if it is better. But, it is a little easier to function.

  • Sarah30


    Sorry I don't have better advice 😥

  • mimikuku


    Your trauma and anger are valid. Time heals, but therapy, meds, and support groups helped me with my SA trauma. I still get flashbacks and I'm triggered easily, but what reassures me is that I'm in a safe place now and am trying my best to move on with my life by doing things that make me happy

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