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My Boyfriend Watches Porn and It's Hurting Me

ryland595

628d

i don't know where to go with this so I'm going to bring it to this app because I can't do this much longer. my current boyfriend watches porn and at the beginning of the relationship I set boundaries saying I did not like my partner to watch porn because I believe it is like cheating lusting over someone's body. A few months ago I was talking to him and somehow it got brought up and he was still doing it and his excuse was "I'm a man and you don't send me videos or anything" and we got into a fight and my feelings felt invalid. He knows I have been through things with my ex's and them abusing porn and comparing me to the people he watched in my old relationship but he doesn't take that into concideration. Its hard for me to be intimate with someone like that but here recently I have been and I know he is still watching porn and it honestly hurts me so bad. Tonight I'm sitting here crying not knowing how to handle how I feel as he knows something is wrong but tells me goodnight and goes to sleep.. idk how much more I can handle.

0

8

8

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Depression

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

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Top reply
    • Noma

      628d

      @Noma 2. i said this a bit earlier but communication is KEY. dont let it turn into a fight. just talk about both of your guys' needs and figure out what is best for the relationship. Its ok to be self conscious because of your partner consuming porn, but at the same time porn is a normal thing to consume, whether youre a girl, guy, or anything else.

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    • im_literally_a_duck

      628d

      Im so sorry! I have set those boundaries as well with any of my partners, for similiar reasons. Its so hard when then dont listen or understand. My rule for myself is that if they cross boundaries that big, i drop them. If they make u feel like shit id call it quits. Im here if u ever need to talk cause hun i get it, its hard.

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    • Noma

      628d

      hmm well 1. its completely normal for people to consume porn. i view people who dont let their partners consume porn and consider porn as cheating as controlling. HOWEVER if you've communicated this to your boyfriend before, then he should also communicate his feelings back. i think this is something that requires discussion between you two. porn addiction is a real problem but its possible to consume healthy amounts. usually someone will use porn to help visial scenarios with their partners in their head, and thats probably what hes doing.

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      • Noma

        628d

        @Noma 2. i said this a bit earlier but communication is KEY. dont let it turn into a fight. just talk about both of your guys' needs and figure out what is best for the relationship. Its ok to be self conscious because of your partner consuming porn, but at the same time porn is a normal thing to consume, whether youre a girl, guy, or anything else.

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        Reply
    • i_am_alex

      628d

      if he won’t respect what you want sexually than you do have to respect what he wants (aka don’t be intimate with him)

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      • ryland595

        628d

        @i_am_alex I've thought about doing that but if I do that he will just watch it more and what if he gets bored of me..idk

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        • i_am_alex

          627d

          @ryland595 if he’d rather watch porn than actually have sex with you i think something’s wrong with him

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    • ryland595

      628d

      I'm in love with him and he's been through so much and I don't want to leave him but I don't know how to make this better.

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    • Catita

      628d

      I'm sorry for what you are going through. It is horrible to be with a person who doesn't care about your feelings. You deserve better.

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