Struggling to Communicate Childhood Trauma with My Mom

my mom acts so hurt that I didn't tell her about all the times I was SA'd in some way like. no ma'am I'm just an idiot who took WAY too long to catch on to what was happening. like "it's been several years and I just realized what that was" too long lmaoooo. in my defense though, how was I supposed to know? every touch was a bad touch to me as a child, but I was punished if I didn't ignore every instinct telling me I didn't wanna be touched by anyone but my mom. the concept of good touches vs bad touches did not exist to undiagnosed-autistic me, they were all bad and I was bad for thinking that. boundaries? idk her