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421d
TW // self loathing, SH mention, abandonment trauma, s*x . . . . . . I hate myself. I just want to SH. I always do this. I have this compulsive need to at least be in the talking stage with someone all the time. I don't know how to be alone and be independent. I have severe abandonment issues that stem from my childhood and with my BPD I just cling to people like a magnet right away. I wish I could make it all stop. I'm so tired of being disappointed and let down constantly by the crappy people I choose to date. To make matters worse, I'm constantly being used for s*x because I don't know how to stop being so promiscuous and they see that I'm an easy target so they get what they want and then leave. I can't handle this anymore. I don't know what to do.
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Bipolar Disorder
Depression
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
Anxiety (Including GAD)
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I understand what this feels like and hope you’re doing alright tonight / today. Please remember that you’re loved always.
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420d
@flore thank you I'm really struggling today I don't wanna be alive (sorry if that's triggering)
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412d
@poodlelover28 I hope today was a better day to you, I’m sorry for not seeing this sooner 💕 My dms are open if you want to ever talk.
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I feel most of this except for I can't find people to date/$ex but think it's because I am autistic and most likely PDA.
@IceGoddess I think I may be autistic too. I have a cognitive disability but I think it's actually autism.
I went through this as well and my therapist recommended the book Codependent No More by Melody Beattie, it really helped with my attachment to toxic and abusive people that also sexually abused me, I didn't SH at the time but I do now (they are not related) but now I don't hate myself or the world for putting me through this, so I don't SH over these past issues. I understand that I have abandonment issues from my brother and codependency issues from my father but now I am self-aware before I make these choices (like letting someone in my life) and can choose the right path. Another important thing to note is even if you are self-aware, people with a traumatic past tend to self-sabotage so be aware and try to choose the right thing even if it's not the one you really want at the moment. Good luck 💕
@pandasss thank you
☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision
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