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lyashnx

463d

A bit long...feedback would be appreciated if yall are willing. Recently I've learned what the term "breadcrumbing" is in terms of relationships. I met a guy back in September, I wasn't trusting, I had just been hurt, I was still healing. But he was patient. We finally started dating in December. On the 15th of January, our one month anniversary, he broke up with me. Saying things like he needed to focus on himself, it was him, not me, but said that I should probably focus on me mental health as well. (Honestly, I'm fine. I was just in a depressive episode the week before. they come in go. I'm sure yall are familiar). He made it clear that nothing would be changing except how often he talked to me and that we would just...technically not be exclusively in a relationship anymore. He said we would still talk, game together, hang out, cuddle, have sex, etc. That sounded just fine to me at the time, probably because I was in the process of having my heart broken and I was just trying to cling on to anything and everything that would keep me feeling close to him. He made it clear that he does still "really really really like" me. He does still "love" me. But now that its been a few days....things....dont seem right. This doesnt seem healthy. I came across a tiktok of a woman who went through the same exact thing, with commenters also sharing their experiences. Someone used the name "breadcrumbing" and I did a little more research...this...is exactly what's happening between he and I. This is exactly what he's doing. The only thing is I dont know if hes doing it intentionally or not. I dont know if he just...genuinely wants to focus on him self and improve himself before trying with me again or if this is just him trying to let me down easy in his eyes.. opinions would be appreciated. Or if this has happened to you, maybe you could share how you handled it? at the moment my plan is to match his energy. Match his one word replies, his zero effort conversations, the dumb pointless memes he sends instead of talking at all. And I'll see how he responds. He wont have a serious conversation with me so its not like I can do the healthy thing and be like "haha heyy....so this is what I think is going on..." Also something I forgot to add. He had been pulling away and becoming distant for about 2 weeks before the breakup (which is honestly what I think triggered the episode but who knows with those dumb things) and I asked him on multiple occasions if everything was alright with him, and with us. and he assured me that everything was fine and played it off like nothing was wrong. idk man. I'm just. this doesnt feel right to me.

Top reply
    • avian

      462d

      this has happened to me multiple times. unfortunately in my experience, these people don't come back ๐Ÿ˜” they just lead you on and prolong your pain until you finally give up. trying to communicate with them doesn't work either, cause like you said they'll just play it off. or worse, they'll try to convince you that you're the one causing problems you should definitely focus on taking care of yourself. if this guy really wants to sort himself out, then that's on him. you don't owe him anything, especially if he's fine with continuing this and hurting you the whole time i know it's hard to not try and fix things, but you can't fix things on your own. you're only responsible for your own wellbeing at this point, so take care of yourself the best you can and don't beat yourself up over anything you're feeling, because you can't help the way you feel. i hope things get better soon, i'm sending you good vibes ๐Ÿ’•

    • avian

      462d

      this has happened to me multiple times. unfortunately in my experience, these people don't come back ๐Ÿ˜” they just lead you on and prolong your pain until you finally give up. trying to communicate with them doesn't work either, cause like you said they'll just play it off. or worse, they'll try to convince you that you're the one causing problems you should definitely focus on taking care of yourself. if this guy really wants to sort himself out, then that's on him. you don't owe him anything, especially if he's fine with continuing this and hurting you the whole time i know it's hard to not try and fix things, but you can't fix things on your own. you're only responsible for your own wellbeing at this point, so take care of yourself the best you can and don't beat yourself up over anything you're feeling, because you can't help the way you feel. i hope things get better soon, i'm sending you good vibes ๐Ÿ’•

    • Gingeralamode

      462d

      You deserve to have commitment if you're going to give affection and be there for someone. Your emotions are valid. I'd suggest trying to take a break and find things that fulfill you and see if you even feel like he deserves you as an option. He could be trying to focus on himself, I won't deny that, so try to do the same and see if he comes crawling back as though he can half do a relationship. You'll see his true colors.

    • Eren2273

      462d

      If you're not happy, you shouldn't stay, regardless of what he's doing. You could try explaining the way you feel to him and telling him about what you learned

โ˜ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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