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I.. I honestly don't know how to even start this.. I have ptsd from past sexual assault trauma from a family member. how do some of you cope on the bad days..? because there are times... days... like today, that I feel terrified and haunted and just feel a complete absence of safety around me. I don't have issues talking about my trauma with those who ask but there are memories, moments in the trauma that make me sick to my stomach to recall and then I feel disgusting and stupid... I just wish i didnt feel the way I currently feel.. like its my fault.. like if I had done this or that I could have saved myself.
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Depression
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
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I understand this. I'm currently having a PTSD flare. Where everything just feels wrong again. When it hasn't felt like this for a long while. I hate it, I hate remembering. I getchu when you say you feel disgusting. Me too. It's a terrible feeling. But you are not disgusting or stupid! You did your best and you survived. That is what is important. Your survival is not something they can take away from you. Nobody can. Nothing that happened is your fault. It is all on that jackass. I'm not super good at answering your question. I don't know the right answer. But I know that when I have bad days I try to surround myself with people I trust. And try not to be alone, whatever that looks like at that time. I'm if you like writing, I'm a slam poet so I work on some free writes. I tend to write a lot of pieces on trauma which helps me separate myself from it. Comfort shows? Wrapping yourself in a tight blanket on the couch. Cry if you need to. Give lots of lovies to your animal if you have one. Do things that make you comfortable and safe. So that hopefully you feeling safe in your actions in your space. Sometimes it can turn into external safety. I'm not 100% sure of any of this, this is just from my personal experience. But know you are not alone. I feel you. And you have also survived every one of your bad days. So take things moment by moment and hope for a better tmro. And just keep working every day. Always keep fighting, in whatever capacity you need to. If you ever wanna talk, dont hesitate to DM me. Hang in there!
408d
@E_belli thank you so much!! I did exactly that, I cuddled my cat who stayed by my side all night while I slept, I wtapped myself in a blanket that smells like my boyfriend and talked to a friend on the phone who's been through the same thing but with a different family member. She's my best friend and she helps me as much as I help her. I just wish, on the bad days, that I didnt feel like I was being sucked into a dark place in escaped from in my teens. Its so hard to get out of that mindset sometimes. And I'll be sure to take you up onhour offer to DM you!
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