HBIC

165d

How do you cope with people thinking your triggers are silly or stupid. I was in an abusive relationship and my abuser was addicted to a famous musician, so now every time I hear her on the radio I start having a panic attack. I've actually had people laugh at me for that.

Chronic Generalized pain

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

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  • stephani1983

    165d

    Ignore them if they havent gone through it they will never understand so no matter how many times you try to explain it will be like explaining to a wall

  • DX

    165d

    I try to explain the depth of the distress (without going into detail because it can be exhausting and a little too vulnerable at times). I say something like "I know it's probably silly and nonconsequential to you because you don't have this experience; but for me my world shakes when I go through this and my body goes into terror mode. I can't help it." If they still don't respect that, then try to keep your distance as much as you can. Unfortunately I haven't seen one of my best friends for months because she couldn't respect my boundaries and thought they were silly or like I was being "too much." And it helps too to remember that being triggered means we survived something. We fought hard and made it to the other side, and we're still fighting and moving forward. People who minimize that are either people who have been privileged enough not to have to suffer, or people who have their own mess that they're not dealing with or being responsible for. In either case, you have the right to reassure yourself that you have immense power for being able to move through this and nobody can take that away from you.

    • HBIC

      165d

      thank you for this. This is so reassuring

  • Mop

    165d

    Know that you are not alone, once I was too scared to go into a room, and two people I considered friends were being very judgy about it, so I decided to explain, and they said "I have trauma too and I'm not a wimp like that" and "that happened 12 years ago, get over it." No matter how hard we try there will be people incapable of empathy. I try to help people understand, and if they still can't, I don't really like that kind of person. It still hurts to this day but I try to remind myself that *I* know that *I* had a good reason to be scared of going in that room, that my fear was valid, and that I am trying *my* best every day to overcome the things that have happened to me. Nobody else can define how strong I am being about a certain situation. I'm sort of just repeating what DX said, but big hugs out to you, there are so many other ways you have overcome your abuser that are so huge and nobody will ever truly understand that. Not liking a singer doesn't invalidate the Mount Everests you've already climbed.

  • ShoobyDoobyDoo91

    165d

    Triggers can be anything!! Everyone's triggers who have had traumatic things happen can be anything that relates to the situation! My papa who molested me drank Milwaukees best ice aka:the beast....I can't stand the smell the look nothing!! Trigger trigger trigger for me.

  • Riptide

    165d

    That's just mean. People are afraid of any mental health condition so most don't even try to understand it

  • MarySol

    164d

    I've had people do more of what triggers me just to laugh while I implode. Get rid of them! I am here. I understand.

    • Mop

      164d

      those people are the worst x_x My middle school life in a nutshell. Theres tons of other human beings that actually deserve our attention and care. I used to feel like there werent but I found them eventually! Here's to everyone here finding real friends

      • MarySol

        154d

        Bullies like to feel powerful by doing things repeatedly that they know will cause reaction, fear, etc. Those people are probably abuse survivors but turned into their abuser instead of seeing a different route. I don't find laughing at other's pain personality is anyone I need to be around. It is all about power and control. Good for you for finding people who mind your boundaries and concerns, needs and likes.

  • computerbird

    161d

    Ignore them instead of freaking out I yell in my head but I ignore them I think people like that have a superiority complex abuse that so they stop

    • MarySol

      154d

      They are bullies who need to feel powerful.

  • Laellaxe

    161d

    Honestly people are stupid. If you explain that something is painfully upsetting because it reminds you of traumatic experiences, and they blow it off or laugh ...then they don't deserve to be around you.

    • MarySol

      154d

      Brilliantly said!

  • Samanthaelise

    161d

    I understand how you feel. I won't go to a certain town because my ex lives there and the thought of running into him sends me into a panic attack. Is it silly to me heck no. To others maybe. Do I care. No. They haven't lived through the trauma I lived through with him. Emotional scars don't heal fast. It's been almost 9 years for me and I still get scared over it.

  • MarySol

    154d

    I would never laugh at your pain. Your experience is valid and the discomfort generated from it is real. You are a human being with emotions and needs and concerns. I would pounce on the radio to change the station to give you peace. If there was anything you wanted to face that caused you trauma response I would always tell you I would be there. I would never force anything on you to face. People I know have tried to force what they want in their timeline because they don't get it. I will never return to them. Never. No matter who.

  • E_belli

    154d

    Triggers suck. And they can be anything. One of my triggers is the smell of peanut butter that I've had for 26 years. It's definitely been awkward in some situations throughout childhood/adolescence and into adulthood when I start having a panic attacks. You deserve patience and understanding. They are not silly and you don't deserve to be laughed at, that's cruel. Just focus on what's happening in your body and try not to worry about them. You don't owe anyone an explanation. Unless you feel comfortable sharing and want to. You are strong and a survivor. Screw them.

  • Laellaxe

    85d

    What other people think about you is none of your business

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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