Struggling with ADHD and Emotional Dysregulation

Like you, I am also on Vyvanse. It has been a miracle drug for me in so many ways. Including the ones that you listed. And even more, some I can't name bc I won't remember since I've been on it for 9+ years. And it has changed my life. And I don't want to discontinue it at all. That said, I think I know where you're coming from. I'm no doctor but in my experience & with my clients with ADHD- what you're thinking- it seems normal. Overwhelming for sure. I see it as kind of you/your emotions/ability to process catching up with your brain. And those 15 years of emotion are probably bubbling over at once! So you're legit normal. Bc, you can finally think thru these feelings. Instead of compartmentalizing, your brain is thinking thru these things you may not have had the brain power to sort thru. And your brain is like- heyyyyy I'm here- listen to me! And your emotions are showing in a way they haven't bc you haven't addressed those emotions. Whether it be due to just a personal choice or due to ADHD. Your mind is able to process how much your life could have been different since your brain is thinking differently. And seeing the differences between what it was and what it can be. Your thinking is amplified and your intrusive thoughts are so prominent bc they are clearly thought about when they may not have been before. With that said, I'm sorry your thoughts are negative. I wish I had an answer. For me, it took a lot of talking in therapy. A LOT. And addressing the issues I haven't before. As someone with OCD as well, intrusive thoughts are one of the biggest parts of my life and lead to a lot of crappy headspaces. But I found talking about them- letting your emotions spill over and letting yourself get them off your chest, it can help to be able to rephrase or think differently about the thought after having time to really give it thought, with its origin and how it relates to your current life. After that long explanation, to answer your question. I have had similar feelings to you. In the beginning and even now. When new things or emotions are introduced to my mind that hasn't been there in a LONG time or ever. Including trauma triggers. Therapy was and is essential for me- I've had the same therapist for 16 years. I wouldn't be here without her. The thoughts got so intense at times. I tried to unalive myself multiple times just to escape those feelings. But the only way out is through. Mindfulness is also extremely helpful. Hard. But helpful and also an essential for me. I also have found a lot of support in the Instagram ADHD community and in the Journey2ADHD community. They are very helpful in learning about the ADHD brain as well as they post things that are so relatable you feel seen finally. And there are so many ppl to talk to and resources available. If you are interested in this info, please let me know. I've only been with this community in the last year and it feels good to be seen and heard and talk to ppl that are going thru what you are. Therapy, mindfulness, and community as the 3 major things that have been the most helpful and life-changing (not including meds) things that have really rerouted my bad thoughts and helped me to see the good. Again, I am no doctor. So take my soapbox with a grain of salt. This is just my experience. My apologies for the very long explanation. I hope you feel better and get things figured out for the better. If you need anything at all, please don't hesitate to DM me. Good luck! 🤓