In 2018 I had friends and now i don't. Having to start the convo every time and going as far as they need you to but them not doing the same. The worst part is not knowing whether it's them or me. Is it on them or did I cause this with my unstable emotions and inability to have stable relationships. It's part of the reason I don't have friends, I don't talk to anyone other than my immediate family. It sucks. I honestly don't know where to start with making friends. And part me is afraid to even try and the other part of me doesn't want to because of my disappointment in the way people tend to be. It's sad really.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
I felt this. This is my experience too and it’s so unfair because I feel like if I could make just one genuine friend, it would make all the difference to me. I’m willing to not know where to start together if you’re looking for a friend.
I would like that. There will be times that I will just disappear for awhile though. Too much peopling makes my brain fuzzy and I have to be by myself for awhile.
I relate. Had a lot of friends since ~2016. I grew so comfortable in a giant safety net that I got used to it. Years later dealing with health issues they all seem to have slowly left because they are tired.
Now I’m all alone for the first time in such a long time and feel I have lost my ability to be my own safety net 😕
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