I’m so sorry to hear it’s been so difficult for you! I’ve had CFS /ME for a long time also. It’s really hard to get through when the energy just isn’t there. I think what has helped me in the hardest times is extreme pacing / self care - with the little energy I had, being super intentional about bringing only positive/supportive things into my space - what I watched, heard, thought about etc. Otherwise I’d spiral in and spiral down & then yea it feels like it’s impossible to get through it. I’m just one little person so I don’t understand the big picture or why things happen. But I have the very deep belief that every life has value, always. No matter what.