Struggling with Eating Disorder Recovery and Negative Thoughts

I have really been trying to gain weight to help restore my menstrual cycle, but have been struggling because of the constant negative thoughts my eating disorder brings. This past week, I gained a substantial amount of weight which absolutely terrified me & made feel like crap. Instead of being supportive, my mom tells me that my behaviors aren't getting better & to not head down the wrong path again. No matter what I try, it doesn't seem to be enough for her. She doesn't seem to care or think that I'm trying. I don't even want to recover at this point but I'm doing what I thought would make her happy & proud