Undiagnosed ADHD: My Struggle with Self-Discovery

My brother also has ADHD, he can manage it now without medication, but elementary and high school were a special hell for him. I was diagnosed at 17, which led to him finally being tested (could be difficult at the time in Canada), and diagnosed at 14. By then, he’d been so soured toward school, he was dragged through high school by disability services, otherwise he could have fallen through the cracks (if he’d stayed at the public HS in Ontario he would have, they’d just closed one of the two HS for the district, so 4000 students crammed into a school previously holding 2000, designed for about 1000). He played tennis for a few years between high school and university, got into uni based on his tennis, then took off scholarly: double majored, Dean’s list, etc. ADHD runs in our family (not necessarily diagnosed, but very evident they should have been/would be today), on both maternal and paternal sides. He has a son and daughter (2 years and 2 1/2 months old respectively), both of whom will be tested before starting school (~5). Can’t hurt, might help.

I didn't know I had adhd till I was 25 (27yo f). I didn't realize why I couldn't keep my house clean, why I word vomited everything, why I interrupted people all the time, etc. Knowing the diagnosis is half the battle. I'm much less frustrated with myself. It's funny bc when I got diagnosed I'd been making a cumulative spreadsheet of all my due dates for classes bc keeping up with 5 documents with due dates on them was insane to me. Doc said it's a coping mechanism that I found worked really well in managing my super severe adhd to be extremely successful in my undergrad. My grades were always good bc it gave me a lot of anxiety to have so many things to do. She said most adhders don't figure out how to keep up with dates and it's a miracle I was able to adapt to college the way I did. Law school was a very different experience bc we don't have assignments. We have one exam at the end of the semester and that's our whole grade. My first year went horribly. I kept up with the readings but finding time to outline and study was not on my agenda so I did my best craming for those exams and I barely made it. Luckily, I've figured it out now and my grades have been significantly better, but it wasn't till higher Ed hit me like a bus that I was able to be diagnosed with adhd.

My dad doesn't think I have most of my issues, but ADHD specifically seems to be because he has it too and thinks it's all normal because he was never diagnosed. I was diagnosed at 12, i struggle through school and I have had bad sleep issues for decades. I have always had the worst impulse control on the planet and I can't seem to remember much for very long, my dad is the exact same way so he thinks that's just fine.