Struggling with Self-Image and Trauma

TW:trauma struggling with a lot of self image right now. going thru a very intense healing patch I feel like, I've spent so much time to myself lately to learn myself again, to remember who I am, to be happy again. I'm struggling with the part where I realize I like to keep to myself and that I've put myself out there so much in the past few years bc of the people I dated that I completely lost myself. I want to get back on medication but I can hardly get myself to make an appointment and to find a DR. I have been betrayed so much, I've been let down and I have been thru crazy trauma so much in the past 5 years alone not to mention most of my life, that I just am now trying to figure out how to navigate in the real healthy world and not the toxic life I've been living. I get anxiety thinking people are judging me bc I'm trying to be better, but I feel I don't fit in and that no one likes me. I still haven't found myself completely but my life has become more peaceful and less eventful. And yeah. I'm scared. this is hard. I want so much better and not just for myself but for my kid.