I have this too and I wish I could change it and it scares me

I feel similarly though it used to be a lot worse before medication. I feel moreso emotionally dependent now instead of like functionally dependent. Like I rely on other people for my happiness. But it’s like- people are social creatures. Aren’t we all codependent in this way? Maybe the difference is when you have like one close friend/person in life. Maybe it’s the tendency to tie all of your happiness to one person. But the thing is, I really dislike shallow relationships and it makes the idea of having a larger community less appealing. I don’t know what the solution is.