Starcycle

23d

I'm scared.
So, I'm the Host. I became the Host about a year ago and only have outlines of our trauma - just enough to pass it off to other people but not quite enough to explain to therapists.
But recently I've noticed a lot of things - I flinch when touched unexpectedly even when not sensitive, a hand goes up and I panic, we're very protective over our physical body and while we've always had sensitivity to touch, I find myself predicting physical harm because someone has raised their hand near me, or something. I noticed it especially at school, where there are lots of people and I frequently flinch to ordinary movements and find myself preparing for attack.

...I'm scared to ask, but is there a chance we've had physical abuse I somehow don't remember? And if so, how do I handle this? I know we've been spanked and physical boundaries have been violated before, but nothing that wasn't handled in a couple weeks. And even so, it shouldn't be causing these particular reactions. I'm just... nervous. Worried. not only about what we might've been through, but about the alters that may be keeping it all inside.

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Victim of bullying

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)

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  • Eren2273

    23d

    Forgetting trauma is a common part of DID. Even if you're worried you're forgetting something big like that, don't try to force those memories. There's a reason you don't remember. You should only work on digging up memories with a therapist, or you could cause serious harm. So basically my advice is to ask a therapist about this, or simply try to keep your mind off of it

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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