I understand. Social anxiety can be so hard. I remember going to Disneyland earlier this year and it just flared up my anxiety. I’m proud of you for trying to be social- simply that is a huge accomplishment. I know it feels like you’re an outsider. But even when your silent you are still apart of the family fun! You are loved. You could share your feelings more with your husband. Or bravely try to speak just a little at a time. Or try affirmations- that’s helped me. But no matter what know your words matter and they are just as important if not said. I relate to what you said, so please know you’re never alone. You’re doing your best and that’s enough.