Anxious about seeing my counselor

I used yo but she's made me much more comfortable over time, it always takes time and the right councilor to feel comfortable

Pony you definitely shouldn't feel like that bring that up in conversation with her. Yes I do because I have never seen a counselor before and I was emotionally unavailable. Now I see one and working on it. Slowly very very slowly .

I hate my counselor I sometimes feel like she's laughing at me instead of supporting me..

My counseling is over the phone and I still get nervous answering. She has given me the option to FaceTime but I am a bit shy at the moment.

I understand that. It's amazing you have lasted two years. I haven't been able to last with a therapist that long. I am proud of you. Maybe there is something you can do to pump yourself up before you go or something? Or something you can reward yourself with afterwards.

It's about to be 2 years since I've been seeing my therapist and I still get super shaky and sweaty palms

Yes 100%. I am also scared that I will say too much and I'll be admitted or get my children taken away because I'm too "crazy". It was drilled into me most of my life that I was "crazy" however it's just my untreated ADHD.