Feeling Used and Exhausted in My Relationship

Im going to be blunt but in NO WAY am I judging you or want you to feel bad. He is 100% taking advantage of you. None if this is okay and if you cant tell him this without him getting mad even though he is the problem, its time for him to go. Now. You should not have to put up with this in your own relationship. I think the fact that you are there as almost his “safety net” encourages the idea for him that your money is his and he can spend it how he sees fit and if you dont have enough then that’s your fault & it is NOT your fault what so ever. I realize that all of this is easier said than done but you have to put yourself first and it will hurt but it will also teach him to get off his behind and not depend on others like that.

I know you know damn well it's past time to kick him to the curb lol. you're right, he DOES know how your ex treated you, which is how he knows he'll keep getting away with it. don't let him. take him to small claims court if you can, but even just having him out of your life is a step up. if you share a lease, tell your landlord you want to be removed once it's up. whether or not your bf knows this is up to you, but personally I wouldn't blame you for deciding to just leave him high and dry. he'll be fine since you're just lazy and he does all the work anyway right?

a lot of times what tends to happen is you’ll think of all the good things that happened with the person but you can’t do that you need to examine the situation right now and how you’re being treated

I understand that you may feel toed to this person, and starting over is difficult. But all it seems to do is drain you, and in the long run that will make your condition worse. Thank you for sharing your story with your partner, and I wont say dump him right away because no one can know everything about your relationship in a couple hundred words. First, explain to him that this is irresponsible behavior because he needs to be held accountable for his actions. Talk to him about your money situation, and talk about how you feel he’s not supporting you like you need him to. If he cant listen and respect you or take accountability, respectfully leave and be a bigger person.

There is no way around it, he is using you for your money. He might actually care about you or think he does but he is still using you for your money. This sounds like a situation you need tog rt out of. He is gaslighting you. This sounds like he is a narcissists

Same thing with me love move on and be happy bc anyone can’t see how they’re hurting u have some narcissistic traits and put to much of their own responsibility on you , don’t play the best friend in ur movie your the main character, take charge and be the sweet strong person u are bc takes a good heart to deal with people like that

I know this is probably not what you want to hear but he is absolutely using you. My ex did the same thing (though not to the same extent since we both had fast food jobs and no school) and he wound up cheating on and abusing me. Please get out of there before it gets worse, especially since the effect on your mental health is most likely very intentional and malicious. Be safe and get out while you can please I can't shake some of the things he did to me and I don't want you to go through the same thing

He's taking advantage of both the length of your relationship and the emotional vulnerability you're experiencing currently. He knows that you will take your 5 years together and try and excuse his behavior, you have a goooood heart. He knows you won't just pack up and leave because you'd be "abandoning" him. But all of that is a lie, you deserve better and you do NOT have to wait around hoping for it to get better....you CAN just walk away and let better find you....

This is a tough situation and exiting the relationship will be anything but easy, but when a partner is not respecting your boundaries repeatedly and is minimizing your worth verbally and with the way they act, you can’t let them continue to take advantage of you like that. Personally I’ve thought of this kind of situation when I’ve been in it before as yes, I care for this person, and the best thing to do for both of our mental healths is to just do a clean break with no loose ends. Otherwise you are enabling someone you care about to engage in self destructive behavior that will not move them forward in life and you’re allowing yourself to be treated poorly which if this partner truly cares for you they wouldn’t want that for you. I recommend a completely clean break where you present your decision, physically separate, and do not open any new conversations with them because they WILL use that to worm back into old habits of using you by manipulating the fact that you care for them.

Leave

Sounds like he's not only using you for money but also is mentally abusing you when he called you lazy when you are working so hard. My ex husband mentally abused me and sexually abused me. He was an alcoholic and a lot head. After the divorce I missed him a lot but I did not miss all the fights. Sometimes you just have to let go. Try being alone for awhile and live your life on your terms. It's not good to get used.

First. Sounds like you are doing an amazing job with life! Now... he needs to be far more understanding or consider getting his own place.