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am I the first post to androphobia? congratulations to me. I have such an intense fear of men, it took my boyfriend years to build up to the level of trust we have where I allowed myself to love him. but even though he's been lovely and would never hurt me I still have this deep fear that one day he's going to get sick of me and beat me up and I won't leave because that's who I am. or he's going to rape me or blame me if I were to get raped again. all of these fears are small, and not something i actually worry about, but the fact that it's there at all bothers me. he's so much bigger and stronger then me and it's hard not think about it negatively even though he's never intimidated me before. I've only been in long-term relationships with much smaller women before him and the adjustment has been hard, even all this time later. nobody ever really cares that I'm afraid of men tho, and working as a fast food manager most of my working life, my superiors will often schedule me with all-men shifts, and it puts me on edge all day and I can feel myself deteriorate slowly every minute that passes. afraid to come in every day. the stuff those men say to me because they perceive me as a lesbian is atrocious and disgusting and always puts me two steps back.
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