Struggling with Chaos in My Relationship

As mouse and fox said, it seems like there are underlying issues. Usually if both people are arguing, silent treatment, or other unhealthy things like that, they both have something personal they need to examine and work on. I think a break to work on yourselves (if he’s willing to do any work on himself) would be ideal at this point. I was in the same situation a while ago with my current boyfriend. We took a break for a while, tried to improve what we were having issues with personally, and it’s worked out since we got back together. I read an article a while ago that was titled “sometimes you need to let go to stay together.” It really resonated with me.

Honestly, its better to walk away from a relationship, heal yourself and attract a healed person than staying in an unhealthy relationship just because you've been with them for x amount of time. You deserve a loving, healthy partner and relationship. Leave while you can and you'll be so grateful for yourself. It's easier said than done, but as someone who has been in a similar situation, it will only get worse and that is a fact. Especially when the red flags come early. Hope this helps💕

Me and my boyfriend are trying to work things out.

My therapist today put it extremely well. If the relationship and the partner are no longer good or healthy for you, whatever love you feel doesn't matter. You have to have self love and put you first sometimes. That said, leaving a toxic or borderline abusive relationship is never easy and can take time. I've escaped two abusive relationships in the last 8 years and have anxiety and self doubt because of it, but it was the best decision I made each time. Because I left I was able to find my current partner who is the most caring and supportive person I've ever met

My brother and his gf are going through this now. They’re very toxic to each other bc they have so much untouched trauma to work through. It’s made the family not like her that much bc of it. My brother is miserable but in love. It sucks watching it.

I had a relationship for 3 years and we had a similar situation. It was toxic and even though it's not easy to, I think it's time to leave.

I went through 1 bought of covid. 1 hospitalization. My boyfriend was very supportive when I returned. I am seeking therapy now.

I did that for almost 10 years. I did get the best 2 kids in the world out of it, but honestly it's not worth it. I since have found the person I dreamed about when I was a little girl and takes care of me and my kids. The tunnel seems long and dark, look for the light and get out.

Yes☹️ no matter how much him and I Work on ourselves the relationship drags us down. It’s toxic. But I don’t want to live without him😪 it’s been 6 years for us on and off

i’m walking away from a year relationship right that i really wanted to stay and work on but i feel like after an incident that he would get physical with me, i think if you guys talk through issues and respect eachother throughout disagreements and the issues present in your relationship would be present if you were to have another relationship that it’s worth staying if you still have that passion for the person. but if it’s one sided and one person is taking all the responsibility unfairly i think it’s a respectable calling it quits. easier said than done as i’m sitting here crying LOL

Seems like trauma on both sides 😥

It's so much harder than "just leave them" You've been together for two. Years. You're connected to this person :( Taking a break might be beneficial to your relationship. A set amount of time. Discuss the terms of the break (if there are any). During the break, keep going to a therapist!!! The distance from your partner will help a lot with breaking it off if you want to. You're familiar now with being without them in your direct life. And you can come back after :) I'm really sorry you're going through this.. people who say to "just" do anything, do not understand. ❤️

Yes 100% I got back with my ex 3 months after she ended it for unknown reasons which today I still have no glue but she contacted me because she missed me but the love has gone I can just tell. Life is shit

It sounds like if two others outside of the situation say that you need to leave it, you should listen.

I'm late to the party but my gf of 2.5 years and I are like this too. We both suffer from an array of mental illnesses and abandonment issues, so fight constantly about not the other not loving each other. It's tough work and some days it feels easier to just break up, but if you both want it to work, there is ABSOLUTELY no shame in reaching out to a counsellor or third party for support. I'm seeing a relationship therapist in a week because both of us want this to work and I know a lot of the issues fall back on me with my attention span issues and lowered libido due to medication. Best of luck xxx

I had this experience in a past relationship where we argued about everything. It's usually because there is a greater underlying problem. That problem might be between you both OR individual issues. E.g. An unresolved disagreement, differences in core values, personal trust issues, anger issues, etc. Have a think about why you're arguing it might help inform what your best choices are 💕

Yes I can. My situation is hard to explain. But I totally relate

Sometimes my boyfriend and I don’t get along but not to that extent. I think maybe you guys need a break from each other, and you need to tell your boyfriend he has to think about what he wants. If he’s not willing to try to stop fighting with you so much, I don’t know if you should stay together.

Nope. Time to walk away gf ✌️